HALLOWEEN 2K18: A Review of "Freddy vs. Jason"

LOL They even made it look like a boxing poster.

Happy Halloween everyone. The ghosts are about, the goblins are playing their under-the-table card games, black cats are howling in the night and... I've got this completely mixed up. Oh well, who cares. It's time to get to the main event. We've been through it all, guys. Seventeen blog posts this month, chronicling two of the most iconic slasher movie villains of all time. Jason Voorhees of Friday the 13th and Freddy Krueger of A Nightmare on Elm Street. They duked it out in the box office for close to twenty years at this point, yet neither man had anything left in the tank on their own. However, right around 2000, people started getting curious. "What if they fought?" "What if they slapped each other silly?" "What if we did one of the greatest versus movies of all time?" Much like the computer fight in Rocky Balboa, the ending of Jason Goes to Hell where Freddy Krueger's clawed hand grabbed Jason's mask and pulled it under the dirt got people talking. Well, in 2003, we got our wish in probably one of the best 'versus' movies of all time, as well as a gloriously produced 1980s slasher movie throwback nostalgia movie. It's witty, it's silly, it's weird, it's cheesy; it's a good one. Let's roll!

Showdown of the Immortals

Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund, in his final film appearance as Freddy) is rendered powerless in Hell because the people of Springwood manage to make the youth forget about him. Today? That would never happen. The internet would keep Freddy alive when weird basement dwellers read Wikipedia articles about serial killers. God, could you imagine if Netflix made a "Making a Murderer" episode about Freddy?  Anywho, isguised as a poorly cosplayed Pamela Voorhees, Freddy manipulates Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger) into coming back to life and start killing Springwood teenagers to generate fear of Freddy's presumed return. In Springwood, Lori Campbell (Monica Keena) lives with her widowed father and has her friends Kia Waterson (Kelly Rowland), Gibb Smith (Katharine Isabelle), Trey (Jesse Hutch), and Blake staying over. That night, Jason kills Trey, and the police suspect Freddy, fearing his return. Following a nightmare where Freddy tries to kill Blake but fails due to not being powerful enough, Blake awakens to find his father beheaded before Jason kills him as well. The next day, police claim it to be a murder–suicide, hoping to contain Freddy. Already, this does feel like a cheap 1980s slasher movie, but being made in 2003, I'll give that as a compliment.

Give your burnt uncle Freddy a smooch

Lori's ex-boyfriend Will Rollins (Jason Ritter) and friend Mark Davis (Brendan Fletcher) are patients at Westin Hills Psychiatric Hospital, from the Nightmare mythology. They take Hypnocil to suppress their dreams due to previous contact with Freddy. A news report about the murders motivate Mark and Will to escape and return to Springwood in order to warn Lori about Freddy. That night, Lori and the others attend a rave at a cornfield, a full-on party and therefore a slasher movie's favorite target for teenage slaughter. Freddy tries to kill Gibb in a nightmare, but Jason kills her in the real world along with several other attendees in the rave, going on one giant bloodbath, which causes Freddy to realize that Jason's rampage will deny him victims. Freddy begins losing faith in Jason and decides to take action to suppress or even kill Jason.

Our lovestory takes a backseat to two immortal
uglies slashing at each other.

Charlie Linderman (Chris Marquette) and Bill Freeburg (Kyle Labine) escape the rave along with Will, Lori, and Kia. Later, Will explains to Lori that the reason he was sent to Westin Hills was because he saw her father murder her mother, before going to Mark's house. However, they discover Freddy killing Mark and leaving a message on his body that declares his full-powered return. Deputy Scott Stubbs (Lochlyn Munro) approaches Lori and her friends, who realize Freddy's plan and convince him of the truth. Learning of Hypnocil, they attempt to steal it from Westin Hills and see many teenagers in a coma-like-state due to prolonged Hypnocil use, but Freddy possesses Freeburg and disposes of the medicine. Having followed them, Jason electrocutes Stubbs to death but is tranquilized by a possessed Freeburg, whom Jason kills before falling asleep. "Come to Freddy", GOD I love Robert Englund's voice in this one.

You scratch my back, I scratch yours

Taking Jason's body with them, the teens devise a plan to pull Freddy from the dream world into reality and force him to fight Jason. They take the unconscious Jason to the now abandoned Camp Crystal Lake, which I always thought was in New Jersey. Yet, Springwood is in Ohio. That's... a pretty fucking far drive. Meanwhile, Freddy battles Jason in the dream world. where Freddy has the advantage due to his dream powers, and Jason takes an absolute shithouse of a beating, even with comedic pinball sound effects. Freddy learns that Jason is afraid of water (a plot device that contradicts earlier Friday the 13th films) and uses this fear to render Jason powerless. Meanwhile, Lori goes to sleep and tries to save Jason. Freddy attacks her and reveals himself as her mother's killer, having possessed her father to do it. Jason, meanwhile, awakens at Camp Crystal Lake and chases the teens into a cabin. That's what I love about this movie. It goes from A Nightmare on Elm Street to Friday the 13th and back again. Linderman is killed after trying to fight Jason and the cabin ignites. Lori is awakened and manages to pull Freddy into the real world where he is confronted by Jason. As the two begin to fight, the remaining teens escape the cabin. The fight between Freddy and Jason is understandably gruesome, complete with all the gore and violence and Freddy one-liners you could want.

Better than trying to sing Jason a lullaby, I suppose

Freddy escapes Jason and goes after the teens, but he is distracted by Kia—until Jason suddenly kills her out of nowhere. The two killers resume their battle until they reach a dock on the lake, where Freddy stabs Jason's eyes, and Jason tears off Freddy's clawed arm. Lori and Will attempt to kill the two by pouring gasoline on the dock and setting it ablaze. Some propane tanks explode nearby, blasting Jason and Freddy into the lake. Freddy climbs out and attempts to kill Lori and Will, but is impaled by Jason with his own clawed arm before the latter falls back into the lake. Lori decapitates Freddy, telling Freddy "Welcome to My World, Bitch!" avenging the deaths of her friends and her mother. Freddy's body falls into the lake and sinks to the bottom. Lori and Will leave Camp Crystal Lake as the only survivors.

The next day, Jason emerges from the water, holding his machete and Freddy's severed head. However, Freddy winks to the audience before laughing off-screen, leaving the fight a complete draw. 

Freddy vs Jason is a quintessential slasher movie, versus movie, teen movie and gorefest all rolled into one. Surprisingly, it was a very good "versus" movie, and still remains as an example of how to do excellent justice to both parties when you make a movie such as this. Alien vs Predator failed to this, Alien vs Predator - Requiem failed even worse, and I can't think of another versus movie we got after that. Sure we get "Marvel crossovers", but those aren't as a badass as this. Freddy vs Jason set a precedent on how to do proper versus movies, as well as honoring both mythologies that both sides came from. The script was a solid backbone to build a foundation on, and the fact that Robert Englund came back for one last run as Freddy was just the icing on the cake.

Well that was it. Eighteen posts in October.
I'm exhausted, understandably. Think I'll go nap for like... a month and a half.
Peace.