HALLOWEEN 2K18: A Review of "Friday the 13th Part III"

I think it's fun to watch the movie on 3-D mode without the 3-D glasses.
Now that's a trip.

Three years, three movies. Despite the lackluster critical reception for Friday the 13th Part 2, nobody seemed to care. Off into production probably while Part 2 was in theaters was Friday the 13th Part III. Terror comes out of the screen as this movie was filmed in what was back-then a very expensive and gimmicky format...3-D. The full title used to be Friday the 13th Part III in 3-D or Friday the 13th Part 3-D but the movie has since been replaced when people realized the 3-D sucked. Too bad none of the intentionally 3-D specific shots changed. So many things in this movie come close to the screen as an obvious point to try the 3-D effect, but without glasses and the right format, it just looks awkward. Even the credits look horrible.

Rub some Advil on that. You'll be fine.

A day after the events of Friday the 13th Part 2, a heavily wounded, unmasked Jason Voorhees goes to a lakefront store for a change of clothes. While there, he murders the store owner Harold with a meat cleaver slammed into his chest, and his wife Edna is impaled through the back of the head with a knitting needle. Jason just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess. Meanwhile, Chris Higgins (Dana Kimmell) and her friends travel to Higgins Haven, her old home on Crystal Lake, to spend the weekend. The gang... I mean, the "killing gallery" includes pregnant Debbie (Tracie Savage), her boyfriend Andy (Jeffrey Rogers), prankster Shelley (Larry Zerner), his blind date Vera (Catherine Parks) and stoners Chuck (David Katim) and Chili (Rachel Howard). I guess "Cheech & Chong" were unavailable. After running into a man named Abel (David Wiley), who warns them to turn back, the gang meets Chris' boyfriend Rick (Paul Kratka) at their destination. I guess "Crazy Ralph" wasn't available. He probably had other star-studded blockbusters to star in that year.

"Hey guys, I got the mask now! Am I iconic yet?"

At a convenience store, Shelley and Vera get into a confrontation with bikers Ali (Nick Savage), Fox (Gloria Charles), and Loco (Kevin O'Brien). You know...typical names for bikers. Shelley gets in the car and knocks down their motorcycles, impressing Vera. Later, the bikers show up at Higgins Haven, where they take the gas out of the van and attempt to burn the barn down to get even. Jason, who has been hiding in the barn, murders Fox and Loco with a pitchfork before beating Ali unconscious with a pipe wrench. That night, Chris and Rick head out into the woods. Chris tells Rick the main reason she returned is to confront her fears, and she explains about how she was attacked by a deformed man two years earlier, causing her to leave Crystal Lake in order to escape the trauma. That must've been in Friday the 13th Part 2 1/2, the one that couldn't see the light of day because it was just so bad.

I'll be your angry 80's biker chick for this movie.

Back at Higgins Haven, a scorned Shelley scares Vera with a hockey mask and then wanders into the barn, where Jason slashes his throat. In the scene that every Friday the 13th fan waited for, Jason takes Shelley's hockey mask to conceal his face and emerges from the barn, shooting Vera in the eye with a speargun. One of those crappy 3-D shots that probably still looked like shit in 3-D. Jason enters the house and strikes down a head-standing Andy with a machete. Debbie finishes her shower and rests on a hammock, where Jason thrusts a knife through her chest from beneath. That's right, Friday the 13th had the balls to kill a pregnant woman. You just... don't do that in a movie, man. You just don't. When the power goes out in the house, Chuck goes downstairs to the basement only for Jason to hurl him into the fuse box, electrocuting him. Chili is then impaled with a hot fire poker. Jason sure makes quick work of these people in these movies. No wonder these movies have trouble breaking ninety minutes in run time.

Oh wow, they really were going for
Cheech & Chong, weren't they?

When Rick's car dies (another common trope in these movies) Chris and Rick are forced to walk back to the house to find it in disarray. Rick steps outside to search the grounds, but Jason grabs him and crushes his skull with his bare hands. Jason then confronts Chris, who narrowly escapes the house and tries to flee in her van. The van breaks down (See what I mean?) and Chris makes her way to the barn to hide, but Jason attacks her again. Inside the barn, Chris hops in a tractor to run, but it breaks down too... alright that one I made up, but I probably got you. She actually strikes Jason over the head with a shovel, and hangs him from the rafters. He remains conscious and unmasks himself temporarily to free himself from the noose, where Chris recognizes him as the man who attacked her two years ago. He sort of mugs at her, like one would to tease someone. A revived Ali tries to attack Jason, but he is quickly dispatched. The distraction allows Chris to strike Jason in the head with an axe. Jason staggers momentarily towards her before finally collapsing. Exhausted, Chris pushes a canoe out into the lake and falls asleep.

Chris has a nightmare of an bloody, unmasked Jason running towards her from exiting the house before disappearing, which then the decomposing body of Pamela Voorhees, with her head attached, emerges from the lake to pull her in. How her body went from the docks, to Jason't hut, to the lake... is quite frankly not worth trying to figure out. The following morning, the police arrive and escort a traumatized Chris from Higgins Haven. Jason's body is shown to still be lying in the barn as the lake is shown at peace once again. Surprisingly un-anti-climactic.

Friday the 13th Part III is your usual Friday the 13th level of intelligence in your usual Friday the 13th setting with your usual kind of Friday the 13th characters. It's still fun and the kills are gruesome enough to keep ticket and rental sales at optimum levels. It's just that even by now, the Friday the 13th shtick was getting old and nobody really had any clue how to do something creative. The 3-D was a nice touch, but without the glasses or even the right copy then things just come out of the screen at you unnecessarily and it's awkward and looks awful.