HALLOWEEN 2K18: A Review of "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge"

Since Jason Voorhees decided to come out of a short-lived retirement and counter A Nightmare on Elm Street with Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, which was a complete and utter shit-sandwich with extra dick sauce on the side, Freddy realized he had to return for another sequel. He might as well, the deus-ex-machina ending for the first movie was kind of weak for an otherwise stellar slasher movie. So out of seemingly infinite possibilites for a sequel, we get A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. A movie that teaches us you don't have to make sense to be a good movie, as long as you throw Freddy in there, morons are bound to buy into it's crap.

An unused Tums commercial, c. 1985

Five years after Freddy Krueger's apparent defeat at the questionable ending to A Nightmare on Elm Street, the Walsh family has moved into the Thompsons' former home. It's like Halloween, where the Strode home is now the Thompsons' home. Buy one house and be cursed for an entire movie. Their teenage son, Jesse (Mark Patton), has a nightmare about being stalked by a burnt-faced sweater-wearing killer driving a school bus. He wakes up and attributes the dream to the unusual heat in the room. Jesse goes to school with his friend Lisa (Kim Myers), whom he is interested in romantically, but is too shy to flirt with her. I really relate to this Jesse guy, even if he acts like a tool throughout the whole movie. After getting into a fight with a boy named Grady (Robert Rusier) during gym class, Coach Schneider (Marshall Bell) makes them stay after class and they become friends. Lisa comes to visit Jesse after school and they discover a diary from Nancy Thompson detailing her nightmares, which are strikingly similar to Jesse's. Heather Langenkamp couldn't be bothered to return, she was on to bigger and better things... or so she thought. Small fires happen around the Walsh's house, which culminates in the spontaneous combustion of their pet birds. Why is it getting hotter in the house? Who knows, but it serves the plot, so let's roll with it.

I thought I told you brats to sit down!

The following night, Jesse has a nightmare where he encounters Freddy (otherwise there wouldn't be a movie, would there) who tells Jesse to kill for him. The dreams grow more intense and Jesse unsuccessfully attempts different measures to keep himself awake. He eventually begins wandering the streets at night. One night, Jesse is caught by Schneider when ordering a drink and is made to run laps at school as punishment. Isn't that weird? Imagine swearing in a grocery store, only to round the corner and run into your gym teacher, who takes you back to the high school to run laps. Would you go? Fuck no, you wouldn't, but this is 80's slasher screenwriting, so anything goes! After sending Jesse to the showers, Schneider is attacked by an unseen force that drags him to the showers. Jesse vanishes into the steam and Freddy emerges, killing Schneider by slashing his back. Later, Jesse is horrified to see the glove on his hand. He is escorted home by police after being found wandering the streets naked, and his parents begin to suspect that Jesse may be on drugs or mentally disturbed. Hell, I'd come to the same conclusion. Lisa takes Jesse to an abandoned factory where Fred Krueger worked, but they find nothing there.

Hang on, Jesse. You got something on your nose.

The following night, Jesse goes to Lisa's pool party and kisses her in the cabana. Afterwards, his body begins to change and he leaves in a panic. He goes to Grady's house, confesses to killing Schneider, and instructs Grady to watch him as he sleeps and to stop him if he tries to leave. When Grady eventually falls asleep, Freddy emerges from Jesse's body and kills Grady. The special effects for this scene are pretty gruesome and epic, so definitely some points for the flick there. Freddy then changes back to Jesse, who finds himself looking at Freddy's reflection in Grady's mirror. He flees before Grady's parents enter the room. Returning to Lisa's house, Jesse tells her what is going on. Lisa realizes that Jesse's terror is giving Freddy his strength, but he cannot stop fearing him and transforms again. Boy, they're really rolling with this "fear gives him strength" thing aren't they? I guess I'll play along then. Freddy locks her parents in their bedroom and attacks Lisa, but realizes he cannot harm her due to Jesse's influence. He goes outside, where he begins to slaughter the partygoers, in one of the silliest but coolest scenes in the movie. "You are all my children now", Freddy quips. In a humorous moment, after slaughtering a couple guys, another guy walks up to Freddy and tells him to "calm down". I laugh every time. Anywho, Lisa's father emerges with a shotgun, but Lisa stops him from shooting Freddy, who escapes in a ball of flame. She drives to the factory, facing sudden nightmares and having to control her fear before confronting Freddy. How is she having nightmares when she's awake? Great question.

Jesse doing an impression of me watching this movie

She pleads with Jesse to fight Freddy, but Freddy's hold is too strong. When Lisa confesses her love for Jesse and kisses Freddy, Jesse begins to fight back. Freddy combusts and turns to ash, from which Jesse emerges. So I guess being ripped open and having another full-bodied man climb out of you doesn't kill you after all. Later, as Jesse, Lisa, and Lisa's friend Kerry (Sydney Walsh) are taking the bus to school, Jesse begins to notice similarities to his original nightmare and panics. After Lisa calms Jesse down, Kerry says that it is all over just before Freddy's clawed arm bursts through her chest. Freddy laughs as the bus drives into the field, just as in Jesse's first nightmare. So... nothing was accomplished. Hooray.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge does have some interesting story elements, but ultimately ends the same way it started, with open story and loose ends so more sequels can be made. Plus, when Freddy's not around or nobody's dreaming, which is rare, I might add, the movie's pretty damn boring. The stuff with just Jesse isn't interesting at all, coach Schneider is more creepy than he is funny and Freddy's influence doesn't really get to showcase itself until about halfway through. Luckily the movie's short, otherwise this'd be like trying to sit through a root canal. It's alright, but definitely one of the weaker ones.

So now that both Freddy and Jason have had back-to-back garbage entries, both killers would return to their corners before they'd both come out swinging again, only this time with two of the best slasher movies in each man's respective series....