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| "You guys think the humans will like us here?" "Shh, quiet man. Mufasa and Sirabi are about to show their new cub!" ♫ From the day we arrived, on the planeeeeet... and, blinking, step into the sun. There's mooore to see than can ever be seen! More to do... than can eeeveeeer be done! ♫ |
Happy Friday to all. Now, you thought nine freakin' Planet of the Apes movies was a lot, especially when you realize that covers two-and-a-quarter months. Here we are at our seventh, and so far final, live-action Transformers entry. It's also the second movie from 2023 we've reviewed, in keeping with my desire to also keep fresh and review some modern movies!
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| "Noah, the Autobots and Maximals are losing! Quick! Call Hasbro headquarters and request more intellectual properties we can cross over with!" |
Welcome to Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, the sequel to the 2018 spin-off Bumblebee, which it turns out was capable of starting another line of sequels. So since a standalone movie focused on the character Bumblebee ended up being successful, what's so special about reverting back to having the movies be about all the Transformers again? Well... this one got my attention because it finally adapted a very popular version of Transformers called "Beast Wars", which was a new toyline in which instead of cars, trucks, and planes... they took the form of animals like rats and ants.... believe me it's much cooler than it sounds. Beast Wars also was one of my favorite Fox Kids shows growing up, so I was pretty excited for this new Transformers movie, something I can't say had happened in a long time. Popular Beast Wars characters like Optimus Primal, Cheetor, and Rhinox make appearances here... and it's alongside Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, and other Autobots as well. Not to mention the be-all, end-all bad guy of the Transformers-verse, Unicron, appears in his proper form. That's right, this isn't Transformers: The Last Knight just teasing with promises of Unicron and not delivering. Let's jump in to Transformers: Rise of the Beasts and review!
The movie opens with the planet-eating Unicron (Colman Domingo) who attacks the home world of the Maximals, an advanced race of Transformers with alternate beast modes. The Terrorcons, Unicron’s heralds led by Scourge (Peter Dinklage), seek to obtain the Transwarp Key which can open portals through space and time intending to use it to help Unicron consume planets faster. The Maximal leader Apelinq (David Sobolov) sacrifices himself to allow the other Maximals to escape the planet before Unicron devours it. Now under the command of Optimus Primal (Ron Pearlman), the Maximals flee to Earth with the key.
In 1994 Brooklyn, an ex-military electronics expert named Noah Diaz (Anthony Ramos) struggles to find a job to support his ill brother Kris and is convinced by his friend Reek to steal a Porsche 911 to sell only to discover that the car is the Autobot Mirage (Pete "Hide Your Wives" Davidson) in disguise. Also yeah that's right... a Transformers movie that decides to employ the trope of a human character struggling at odds with the world? Perish the thought. Concurrently, museum intern Elena Wallace (Dominique Fishback) studies an ancient statue of a falcon bearing the Maximal symbol and accidentally breaks it open to reveal the Transwarp Key hidden inside. The key releases an energy pulse detected by Autobot leader Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), who summons the other Autobots. Mirage is contacted in the middle of Noah's attempted theft, and he is roped into the Autobots' mission to recover the key from the museum so they can use it to return to their home world of Cybertron. See... I'm confused; I thought in Bumblebee the story was established that the Autobots left Cybertron because it was lost and looking for new places to call home. Now we're being told they want nothing more than to get back to Cybertron... lol I'm confused.
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| "Know this; Only ONE may enter here. The DIAMOND in the ROUGH!" |
Drawn by the key's signature, the Terrorcons arrive on Earth and attack the Autobots outside the museum, with Elena becoming caught up in the conflict. Scourge deactivates Bumblebee (non-speaking), steals the key, and retreats when the Maximal Airazor (Michelle Yeoh) arrives. Airazor explains to the Autobots that the Maximals have been hiding on Earth for millennia and that Scourge only has half of the Transwarp Key, which was split in two to keep it away from Unicron. Despite the danger, Optimus insists that the key be reassembled so the Autobots can use it to return home, while Noah secretly plots to destroy the key to keep Earth safe. Elena deduces that the other half of the key must be in a hidden temple in Peru, and the cargo plane Autobot, Stratosphere (John DiMaggio) takes them to Peru. There, they meet with Wheeljack (Cristo Fernández), who leads them to the temple, but they soon discover that the other half of the key is no longer there. The Terrorcons attack again, and the battle ends with Scourge corrupting Airazor with Unicron's dark energy. Subsequently, the Autobots meet Optimus Primal and the other Maximals, who explain that they entrusted the second half of the key to a human tribe they have worked with for millennia. Scourge's corruption overtakes Airazor and Primal reluctantly deactivates her at her request to save Elena. In the chaos, Noah attempts to destroy the second half of the key, but Optimus convinces him otherwise. Scourge steals it and then reassembles the two halves atop a volcano, erecting a tower and opening a portal above the Earth, which Unicron will soon go through.
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| "Are you Samuel James Witwicky? Descendant of Archibald Witwicky?" "Uhhh... no?" "Damn, wrong movie." |
In the aftermath, the Autobots, now unable to return to Cybertron at all... even though they were working to find a new home, proclaim Earth as their new home and vow to continue protecting it alongside the Maximals. Elena receives recognition for discovering the temple in Peru while Noah... in a very "Marvel" turn of events that was surprising yet stupid... attends an interview for a security job but finds he is actually being invited to join the secret military organization G.I. Joe... yeah that's right, the "real American hero", who will cover Kris's healthcare and provide the stability Kris and Noah need. In a mid-credits scene, Noah repairs Mirage using junk Porsche parts from Reek (Tobe Nwigwe) who claims it's un-road-worthy, and Noah disproves him by calling to Mirage to transform in front of Reek.
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| "Float like a butterfly, sting like a me!" |
...and that's Transformers: Rise of the Beasts. The most recent and as of now, final entry in the Transformers film franchise. Unfortunately, while I was very much anticipating this one as a big fan of Beast Wars, there was only one or two Maximals that were given any amount of screen time worth anything. We got to see much of Optimus Primal and Airazor; but my personal favorites such as Cheetor, Rhinox, and especially Rattrap, are non-existent in this movie. Cheetor and Rhinox at least get screen time, but they didn't even bother to include Rattrap. What a sin. This did just feel like another edition of the wildly popular "Optimus Prime show", and Mirage received more screen time than I expected.... and at times, would have liked. Don't get me wrong, I dig Pete Davidson as a comedian and an actor. Still, Mirage was basically just Hot Rod from the '86 movie we've talked about. Young, talkative, upbeat; doesn't ever shut up when you need him to. Stuff like that.
They kind of made up for it to me with the inclusion of Unicron, and again, not just teasing him like The Last Knight did. Not only that, but they included him in his original G1 appearance. Sort of, at least his alternative planet-eating mode looks just the same. The actor that they got to voice him too, Colman Domingo, does a real good Unicron. I think he kind of calls back to Orson Welles' rendition from the '86 movie.
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| ♫Caaaaan you feel, the looooove tonight? The peace the evening briiiiings...♫ "Ah, come on Cheetor, that's the third Disney reference int his blog post alone!" |
One weird thing is if this movie's truly a sequel to Bumblebee, then we have a serious problem in terms of consistency. In the last movie, the so-named Autobot Bumblebee was the star of the show, the absolute hog of the spotlight, understandably so. In this movie, Bumblebee's almost a footnote. Background character, even. Which serious Bumblebee, Camaro, or even the color yellow fans are going to resent. Instead his youthful upbeat personality was handed to Mirage, who sort plays our new Bumblebee so to speak. Seems like they just re-invented the wheel by introducing Mirage, but I suppose not all Transformers movies can favor Bumblebee forever. They still manage to shoehorn Optimus Prime into the spotlight in this one. Last one, Bumblebee, Optimus was hardly in it and I actually quite liked that movie
You take showcasing of the Maximals out of it, showing off Unicron, and teasing the Hasbro Cinematic Universe out of the equation... this movie's sort of just a rehash of the Transformers movie formula we've seen a few times already. It introduces the filmgoers to new movie renditions of items and things from the lore, like the Transwarp Key and the Maximals, and Unicron, and it's gripping enough in that regard. Aside from that, much of the same. I thought it was serviceable enough. I didn't think it was good or bad. It was kind of just there, for me. All I can't wait for now is the big crossover movie The Hasbrovengers with My Little Pony, ThunderCats, G.I. Joe, and Transformers teaming up to fight... I don't know, the failing toy market that was once thriving in the 80's.
At the end of the day, I do recommend this movie. It's pretty entertaining enough, even if it's formula has been done already and I didn't think many awesome things about it.
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