A Review of "Bumblebee"

"I think I'm going to call you 'Bumblebee'. I mean you're yellow, you had honey comb growing in your wheel-well;
I'd be stupid not to call you Bumblebee."

Happy Friday. Hope back to school season is treating you well if you're a parent whose children have an ACHE and DESIRE to learn. Hope it's at most a minor inconvenience if you're a child-less white-collar Joe stuck in traffic behind a school bus of screaming little yuppies making faces at you. All in all, I wish good health and a stress-free existence upon you as we wrap up *checks calendar* Holy shit, August already.

A cool running shot in the movie, but it also gives
me mad "Batman Forever ending" vibes

Now, Transformers: The Last Knight was a such a pain in the arse to sit through, it was almost to the point I didn't want to continue. I thought "Eh, the next two are part of a reboot series, I don't need to review them". I had fatigue, much like anybody who reviews these movies one after the other would have. I remember viewing Transformers and Revenge of the Fallen in the same day I went to see Dark of the Moon in theaters. Did I mention that already? Well if I did, I'm sorry. Quite frankly, The Last Knight was the sign to all, even Michael Bay, that maybe it was time for Bay to step aside and let someone else take the reigns of his Transformers film franchise. Five movies is nothing to balk at, but with hit-or-miss quality as you watch through them, the writing appeared to be on the wall.

So what happens when a film franchise's main story has gone on too long, has taken too many weird turns, and has alienated much of its original fanbase? It's time for a reboot! Naturally. Nothing Hollywood loves more these days than a good ol' fashioned "reboot-quel", a loose sequel/prequel that also serves as a fresh re-design and new take on the story featuring new characters at the same time. Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Jurassic World, Ghostbusters: Afterlife... it seems to be the fad nowadays, and this movie is no exception. Instead of Transformers: Journey to the Center of Your Anus... or whatever they would've called it, we get 2018's Bumblebee... the fancy-fresh take on everybody's favorite shape-shifting Camaro.

Does it rejuvenate the struggling franchise? Is it a fresh, desirable take on this tired ol' hat trick? Well, with Michael Bay serving the film as producer only, there's a good to strong chance we have a stellar reboot on our hands. Let's leap into action!

A cool behind-the-scenes photo of Shatter and
Dropkick's alternate forms.

On the planet Cybertron, the Autobots, led by Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), are on the verge of losing their war against the Decepticons and prepare to evacuate the planet. Decepticon forces led by Starscream (non-speaking), Soundwave (Jon Bailey), and Shockwave (also Jon Bailey) intercept the Autobots during their evacuation, and Optimus sends Autobot scout B-127 to Earth in an escape pod to set up a base of operations while he stays behind to fend off the Decepticons. B-127 reaches Earth and crash-lands in California in 1987, disrupting a training exercise by Sector 7, a secret government agency tasked with monitoring extraterrestrial activity on Earth. Colonel Jack Burns (John Cena... ♫ bah-bahbah-bahhhhh, bah-bahbah-bahhhh ♫) presumes B-127 to be hostile and orders his men to attack the Autobot. B-127 scans a Willys MB jeep and flees to a nearby mine, where he is ambushed by the Decepticon Blitzwing (David Sobolov). When B-127 refuses to reveal Optimus's whereabouts, Blitzwing tears out his voice box and damages his memory core, prompting B-127 to kill the Decepticon with one of his own missiles. B-127 scans a nearby 1967 yellow Volkswagen Beetle before collapsing from his injuries.

Charlene "Charlie" Watson (Hailee Steinfeld), who is depressed by the death of her father and resentful of her mother Sally's (Pamela Adlon) relationship with her new boyfriend Ron (Stephen Schneider), finds the Beetle in a local scrapyard owned by her Uncle Hank (Len Carlou), who gives it to her as an 18th-birthday present. When trying to start it, Charlie unknowingly activates a homing signal that is detected by the Decepticons Shatter (Angela Bassett) and Dropkick (Justin Theroux) while they interrogate and kill Cliffjumper (Andrew Morgado) on one of Saturn's moons. The two Decepticons head to Earth, acquire human-made vehicle forms, and encounter Sector 7; pretending to be peacekeepers, they persuade the agency to help them capture B-127, despite Burns' objections.

"You've done well, B-127." "Uh, Optimus, I'm
Bumblebee now!" "No, the heck you are... what
even is a 'bumblebee' anyway?"

As Charlie attempts to fix the Beetle, it transforms into B-127, whom she befriends and names "Bumblebee", which was a little hokey for my taste. She then unknowingly unlocks a message from Optimus urging Bumblebee to defend Earth, which restores some of his memories. They are discovered by Charlie's neighbor Memo (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.), who agrees to protect their secret, while Bumblebee learns to use his radio to communicate. While left alone one day, Bumblebee unintentionally destroys Charlie's home and causes an energy spike that attracts Sector 7's attention. When Sally blames Charlie for the havoc, Charlie has an emotional breakdown and finally expresses her pain over her father's death and leaves with Bumblebee and Memo, only to be intercepted by Sector 7 and the Decepticons. Bumblebee is captured while Charlie and Memo are returned home.

Charlie convinces her brother Otis (Jason Drucker) to cover for her and Memo as they follow Burns to the Sector 7 outpost where Bumblebee is being held. While torturing Bumblebee, Shatter and Dropkick accidentally activate a message from Optimus and learn that the Autobots are coming to Earth. Dropkick then kills Bumblebee and Dr. Powell (John Ortiz), but not before the latter is able to alert Burns to the truth about the Decepticons. Charlie electroshocks Bumblebee back to life, restoring his memories, and fends off Burns' obstruction. After evading the military with the help of Memo and her family, Charlie and Bumblebee pursue the Decepticons, who are using a radio tower at a nearby harbor to contact their allies on Cybertron. Shatter shoots down Burns' helicopter when he tries to intervene, but he is saved by Bumblebee. Bumblebee fights Dropkick and binds him with a chain, ripping him apart. Charlie deactivates the Decepticon beacon, only to be pursued by Shatter. Bumblebee destroys a dam wall, triggering a flood that causes a cargo ship to crush and destroy Shatter. Bumblebee and Charlie escape the army and later arrive on a cliff overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge, where Charlie, realizing that Bumblebee has a greater purpose, says goodbye. Bumblebee takes on a new 1977 Chevrolet Camaro form, the exact one from the start of the "Bayformers" saga, and drives off, and Charlie reunites with her family and Memo. Later on, Bumblebee reunites with Optimus, who successfully escaped Cybertron. He praises Bumblebee for keeping Earth safe as they watch more escape pods enter Earth's atmosphere. Meanwhile, Charlie finishes repairing the Corvette she and her father were working on and takes the classic vehicle for a drive...

Candid photo shot of Bumblebee's alternate
VW Bug form for the fans!

...thus ending the movie Bumblebee. What did I think?

First, I'd like to congratulate Travis Knight on rebounding the franchise back to its roots while also re-defining the aesthetic. Michael Bay met with backlash upon the reveal of the look of the Transformers during the making of the first movie, claiming the G1 Transformers look wouldn't translate well to modern CGI. This movie, eleven years after that one, disproved that with ease. Not only do the Transformers look MORE like Transformers than they have in the past, they looked nearly identical. This was done with such a love an adoration of the original 80's source material that I audibly uttered "Nice" during some moments, like somebody said the number "69". They even properly adapted three Decepticons in Shockwave, Starscream (who didn't speak), and especially Soundwave with his iconic voice and ejecting Ravage the cassette-tape dog Decepticon from his chest. I applaud the filmmakers for their tribute and adaptation of the G1 source material.

That being said, this movie does suffer from being cut from the same cloth as the Bay films. It makes sense, seeing as how Michael Bay stayed on as producer. My biggest gripe; Hailee Steinfeld was great in this, a phenomenal actress as always, but does every human the Transformers meet have to be woefully down on their luck. Sam Witwicky? Broke, doesn't have a car, horny for a hot chick; he was actually the least "down on their luck". Cade Yaeger? Farm was getting foreclosed on, daughter hated him, had no money, got stuck with T.J. Miller; really, really bad stuff. Now we have "Charlie Watson". Father dead, mother dating schmuck, little brother favored, doesn't have a car, mocked for her trauma; it's like humans can't ever have it good when meeting a Transformer. Like the movie has to shove it down our throats that meeting a Transformer, namely an Autobot, is going to be the thing that flips their lives around. I don't know; just seemed like a tired ol' trope to me I've already seen in all these movies.

They at least switched it up by making the Decepticons in this movie vague and lesser-known soldiers. It would've been lazy but expected to just toss in Megatron and Starscream again as main villains. I like that we could be building up to Megatron's revival, and if they kept this G1 Gun alternate form and brought back Frank Welker to voice him in the original way he voiced him (ignoring his altered voice for The Last Knight), I'd love every second of it. IF they did it right, and with respect, as with everything I saw int his film.

*Soundwave voice* "If you have an annuity but you need
cash now! Call JG-Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW!"

Sidebar: I'm a huge pro wrestling fan, and I've been following the current WWE/AEW product while also rewatching old school stuff from all points in time. Seeing John Cena turn heel on us by playing a bad guy in this movie was a treat. John's such a great actor, and he's definitely following the Rock into Hollywood it seems these days, and this movie was no exception. Shout out to John Cena's only non-Thuganomics heel turn (for my pro-wrestling fans out there).

Another thing I liked was the soundtrack. I'm a sucker for the 80's stuff, especially the moment where Bumblebee blasts "The Touch" by Stan Bush as a tribute to The Transformers: The Movie from 1986. That part tickled me, glad to see the filmmakers again showing proper love and adoration wherever possible.

I'll wrap up by stating that I enjoyed Bumblebee. Definitely a worthy entry in the series, and a vast step up from Transformers: The Last Knight. I haven't really been ranking the movies, personally, thus far. I would put this one pretty far up there, perhaps even currently number two behind the first film from 2007. I mean it's got lovable characters, even if we've seen the trope already, action, drama, and compelling enough dialogue. I wouldn't say it's cookie-cutter by any means. It's not bland at all. It's a lot of fun, at the very least. Kind of made me want just a full blown remake of The Transformers: The Movie in this CGI format just to see how it would look/hold up. They don't even have to remake it fully, just redo the CGI and let the old animation/voices ride. They already have Peter Cullen still, so why not? I recommend.

Only one more Transformers movie on our list, currently. It came out this year and I've already seen it. So I'll be yelling my opinions at you in the coming week, then we'll move on to something else! Stay frosty.