Rockython: A Review of "Rocky Balboa"

"OW, Sly! You didn't even say 'Action!'" "Yo, this is boxing! Ain't no 'yellin action'!"

Well... can you believe we're still not all the way done? You know, some franchises, it's understood will just never die. Star Wars... Star Trek... Marvel... even Halloween will continue making sequels until it becomes comical again. Even after it was already comical following Halloween: Resurrection. In all honesty, though; how many times can Rocky Balboa come through from nothing, challenge the odds, overcome adversity and win it all while simultaneously sticking it to his opponent and winning the hearts of millions? Just how many times? It's going to become comical at this point, isn't it? Just how hilarious it would be for Rocky Balboa to climb into the ring at his age to fight and defeat someone who's like half his age?

Hey Burt Young, how many Rocky movies have you been in?

Following Rocky V in 1990, which suffered a lukewarm reception at best and becoming the first Rocky film to lose money at the box office, aging action star Sylvester Stallone saw it as the cap on his saga and to the character that brought him fame and fortune as not only an actor, but as a writer and a director as well. The nineties wore on, and Stallone would have a slew of so-so movies that failed to make much of an impact... either at all or not until years later. In 1993, he played a time-traveling cop in Demolition Man who wakes up in 2032 to find society radically and comedically different than he remembers it (lookin' at you "three seashells"). In 1995, he played another form of a police officer in the lesser-known comic book film Judge Dredd. In 1998, he voiced one of the main characters in Dreamworks' A Bug's Life rip-off, Antz. In 2003, he has a role as a the main villain in Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over. Despite all these roles, Stallone's career was waning as he was reaching his late fifties, soon to be the big 6-0 by 2006.

Still, there was always the persistent rumor of "one more Rocky" as soon as the late 90s, when a script by Stallone was rumored to have existed. The project was pitched and offered and pitched again throughout the early 2000s, but the studios said the same thing Stallone's fans, friends... and even admittedly his own family had said... "he's too old". To play Rocky Balboa again, Stallone would have to shape the story around Rocky's age or have the story not be about Rocky, but about someone Rocky is training. Well... well know they tried that once with Rocky V and it wasn't very good, but they would later succeed doing it with Creed... BUT Stallone chose option A. Rocky Balboa would finally see release in December 2006... and quite frankly? To me? It's a masterpiece. One on par with the first film. Let's figure out why.

"Alright, first question."
"Yes, Antonio? How did a sixty-year-old man get in better
shape for this movie than you?"
"That's enough questions, thank you."

Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), now in his early sixties, has been facing some changing times in his life over the passing years. He now runs a small but successful Italian restaurant named after his wife Adrian (Talia Shire), who died from ovarian cancer four years prior. He also battles personal demons from his grief over Adrian's death, and his eroding relationship with his son Robert (Milo Ventilator... Venison... Veronica... SOMETHING), now a struggling corporate employee. Paulie (Burt Young), Rocky's best friend and brother-in-law, continues to support him whenever he can, but is constantly guilt-ridden over his past poor treatment towards his late sister and accuses Rocky of living in the past during their annual trip of nostalgia around their Philadelphia stomping grounds, including Rocky's first apartment from Rocky, the torn-down hockey rink where he took Adrian on their first date, the pet store where he met her, and even Mighty Mick's gynasium right next door. Following Rocky and Paulie's disagreement over the trip, Rocky meets a woman named Marie (Geraldine Hughes), who was once a troublesome young girl Rocky had escorted home thirty years ago... "Li'l Marie" from Rocky. Marie is now a single parent of a teenage son born out of wedlock named Stephenson, nicknamed "Steps" (James Francis Kelly III). Rocky's friendship with Marie quickly blossoms over the following weeks and he meets and bonds with Steps, providing him a much-needed buffer for his anguish.

"Sly, you gave me my script but all my lines say 'Adrian'."
"Yo, just cross her out and write your name. Same bit."

Meanwhile, on the professional boxing circuit, Mason "The Line" Dixon (real-life boxing champion Antonio Tarver) reigns as the undefeated yet unpopular heavyweight world champion, often ridiculed for having never fought a true contender. Basically LeBron. That's who he is... if LeBron were a boxer, it would be this guy. This leads to tension with the public and his promoters, and encourages him to return to his roots: the small gym he first trained in, as well as his old trainer Marvin who sagely tells him that, inevitably, he will earn back his respect through a true opponent that will test him. ESPN later broadcasts a computer simulation of a fight between Rocky (During his ferocious fighting form of Rocky II) and Mason—likened to a modern-day version of The Super Fight between Muhammad Ali and Rocky Marciano—that ends in a disputed KO victory for Balboa, further riling the champ. In contrast, the simulation inspires Rocky to take up boxing again; an intention that goes public when he successfully renews his boxing license. Dixon's promoters thus pitch the idea of holding a charity exhibition bout at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas to bolster Dixon's floundering popularity.

"Yo, makes sense they demolished this joint. Who even
remembers the Philadelphia Flyers?"

With some hesitation, both men agree to the match, creating a media buzz that stabs at Rocky's age and Dixon's credibility. Robert later makes an effort to discourage Rocky from fighting, blaming his own personal failings on his father's celebrity shadow, but Rocky rebukes him with some profound, inspiring advice about how blaming others won't help him succeed in life. Probably in one of the greatest monologues in a sports movie anywhere, proving that Stallone's still got the acting chops to inspire anybody. The next day, father and son meet over Adrian's grave and reconcile. Robert has quit his job to be at Rocky's side. Rocky sets straight to training with Apollo Creed's (and later his) old trainer, Tony "Duke" Evers (Tony Burton), who quickly surmises that the slow and arthritic Rocky can only compete by building his strength and punching power as much as possible. Basically becoming a tank to combat Dixon's Jeep.

They came. They saw. They... really did nothing,
but hey, it was great having them around!

The bout itself is presented like a real HBO fight. It uses real commentators and analysts, real boxing referee Joe Cortez, and even Michael Buffer makes the opening introductions. Not going to lie, hearing Michael "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" Buffer introduce Rocky Balboa is still awesome to hear. The fight is a back and forth affair, with Dixon easily dominating the first round, only to injure his left hand in the second one on Rocky's hip. Rocky then makes a dramatic comeback, knocking Mason down, and surprising the audience with his prowess and chin despite his age. The two combatants beat each other severely throughout the full ten rounds, ending with both men still standing, although Rocky gets the last punch. Rocky thanks an appreciative Dixon for the match and tells him that he is a great champion, while the audience applauds the two fighters. The result mimics the first Rocky film, bringing the saga full-circle, as it is announced as Rocky exits the ring with his family and friends: a win for Dixon by a close split decision, but Rocky clearly doesn't mind the outcome and the crowd gives him a final standing ovation to chants of “Rocky”. In the closing shot, Rocky returns home and visits Adrian's grave again, thanking her for helping him; "Yo Adrian, we did it. We did it." before standing up and fading away in the background after giving the screen one last wave...

"Hi! Neither Zion nor LeBron played today,

so we're going to broadcast a simulated

'past-and-present-collide' boxing match like we're

NBA 2K or some shit. You're watching SportsCenter."

After feeling like he'd jipped both moviegoers and himself with Rocky V, Rocky Balboa comes off as a love letter from Stallone. Much of the movie is nostalgic and pays homage to the saga that has brought so much people joy and has inspired many generations of fans. The movie even made a point to break the naming convention of the saga thus far; it would have been called Rocky VI, but chose to go with the character's full name. I agree with it; if it was called Rocky VI, it would have just felt like another sequel. It probably wouldn't have had that big of an impact by far. It's even the first sequel that doesn't open with a flashback/recap of the previous movie. Given the story we're told, it makes logical sense. Rocky V's street fight with Tommy Gunn has zero bearing on anything that happens in this movie, so it would've ultimately felt out of place. The movie also does away with Rocky's brain damage dealt to him by Ivan Drago in Rocky IV, and even makes no mention of Rocky's eye injury at the hands of Apollo Creed in Rocky. The only factor against Rocky in this movie is his age, and it's something Stallone himself was going through during the production of this movie. Not only that, but this was also the first Rocky movie to have no Adrian: Rocky's wife, his muse and his reason for being. It's true that Adrian was alive in the first few drafts of the script. However, Stallone felt that the film was lacking the necessary emotional impact it needed. So, he and Talia Shire came to an agreement that her character would be best left out of the film, as this would create an emotional chasm for Rocky from the very first moment of the film. To be fair, I think Talia was championing it. She has a quote on her IMDb page that kind of sums up her feelings on the Rocky sequels: "I have a feeling when I'm eighty years old I'm going to get a phone call: There's going to be another Rocky." Kinda tells us all we need to know. Ha.

Rocky Balboa is one hell of a love-letter movie. It didn't need to exist, it didn't need to be made, but Stallone wanted one last hurrah, one last go in the ring. Much like the character he's played for so many years. The entire plot of the movie revolves around Rocky having this "beast inside of him" that he needs to get out, and by the end of the ten-round bout with Mason, Rocky tells Paulie that the "beast is gone". This must've very much been like what Stallone was like. One more shot, and to do it right, and it does. Rocky Balboa, to me, is the best out of all of them. On the same level with Rocky. It's got all the heart, some of the best writing, arguably the best fight out of all of them (Rocky II is hard to top), and even has a better villain than Rocky. You gotta remember, Apollo Creed didn't become a likable character until Rocky II onward. In Rocky, Apollo was kind of a background character; the main antagonist, sure... but he wasn't fleshed out very well and was kind of just stock. Rocky was definitely mostly about Rocky and Apollo wouldn't get humanization until Rocky II. In Rocky Balboa, it's telling two fighters' pursuit stories here: Rocky's story to get the beast out of him, to have one last fight and walk away... and it also tells Mason Dixon's story of wanting recognition to beat someone with name value who can bring admiration and respect to his career. Getting both of those stories intertwined with Robert's redemption and rebuilding his relationship with Rocky, Paulie coming to terms with Adrian's passing, and Marie's championing Rocky on in what would typically be Adrian's role... you get one masterpiece of a movie. Ten out of ten. Well done... and a definitive cap indeed. Probably my one and only complaint is that "Mason 'The Line' Dixon" is one clown-ass name for a dude...

...

VENTIMIGLIA, THAT WAS IT.