A Review of "Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny"

"Hello, I am Indiana Jones. I have an AARP membership, calcium deposits, bone spurs, metal screws and plates in all
my major joints and limbs... and I'm pre-diagnosed for Alzheimer's disease! Gear up for my next whirlwind adventure!"
...
"Hello, I am Indiana Jones--"

Happy Saturday, and happy July 2023. Yes, I know: "This isn't a Terminator: Dark Fate review!" No, it is not. I spent all week re-watching the Indiana Jones movies, the four that were already out, so I could gear up for yesterday's debut screening of the freshest title in the franchise. I ran out of time to watch Terminator: Dark Fate for the first time so I could review it. Don't worry... it is on my slate!

"Wait a minute, what do you mean 'NASA'?
What is that? What does that do?!"

I was very much looking forward to today's review. I've been an Indiana Jones fan since I was a pre-teen. Raiders of the Lost Ark is still one of my favorite movies of all time. I can quote big chunks of it, I know the story inside and out, I can verbally detail every action beat that occurs in the movie; in fact if a total stranger put a gun to my head and said "Hey recite me the entire plot synopsis of Raiders of the Lost Ark or I'll blow your goddamn brains out", I'd get out alive, easily. THAT is how much I love that movie. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is one I love, but for different reasons. I obviously warn people that it's nothing like Raiders and while it is an action-adventure movie, it can be a little uncomfortable for people who are expecting it to be "more like Raiders". Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is a top-notch sequel and worthy of being considered on-par with Raiders, easily... and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a worthy sequel in it's own right, in my opinion. Yes it has flaws and I have some issues with the movie, but all in all, I stand by it and still argue it doesn't get as much love as it deserves.

...and that brings us to today! Taking the place of the most recent movie I've reviewed on my blog; this is my review of 2023's Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny! I just am writing this now on Friday night (though I opened with "Happy Saturday"; timing, pal!) after having just come back from the viewing. I have... mixed first-time impressions of the movie. While I thought I should wait to watch it again before reviewing it, I couldn't wait. Harrison Ford's final ride, and perhaps Indiana Jones' final ride as well! I mean what more could I ask for as a big Indy fan?! Let's get the plot synopsis out of the way, and we'll discuss what I think afterwards:

"Oh man, today was a bad day to quit taking my
arthritis meds!"

As with many movies I review while they're in theaters, Spoiler material is beyond this point. Stop and get off the ride if you plan to see it. Otherwise, read on!

In 1944, during the Allied liberation of Europe in World War II, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) and his colleague Basil Shaw (Toby Jones), a fellow archaeologist from Oxford, are captured by Nazis while attempting to retrieve the Lance of Longinus. Meanwhile, astrophysicist Jürgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen) informs his superiors that while the Lance in their possession is a fake, he has found half of Archimedes's Dial, which was invented by the Syracusan mathematician Archimedes and is capable of locating fissures in time. Jones escapes and boards a train full of looted antiquities, where he rescues Shaw. After determining the spear is a fake and acquiring the Dial, he and Shaw jump from the train before it derails on a bridge destroyed by Allied bombers.

In 1969, Jones is separated from his wife Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) after their son Mutt (Shia LaBeouf if you recall... don't get your hopes up; he is not in this movie) died during the Vietnam War, and is being pushed into retirement at Hunter College. He is approached at a bar by Helena Shaw (Phoebe Waller-Bridge), Basil's daughter and Jones's godchild, who is herself an archeology student and treasure hunter. Jones informs her that the Dial was split into two pieces and that her now-deceased father was driven to near-insanity while trying to unlock its secrets. Jones had promised Basil he would destroy the Dial, but he had not fulfilled his promise. They retrieve the first piece of the Dial from the college storeroom, where they are attacked by henchmen sent by Voller, who now works for NASA under a new identity and is assisted by a CIA group led by Agent Mason (Shaunette Renée Wilson). Knowing Voller's men are after her, Helena escapes with the Dial, revealing her true intention to sell it at a black market auction. Jones flees into a parade celebrating the Apollo 11 astronauts before escaping through the New York City Subway and seeking aid from his old friend Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), now an immigrant cab driver.

"I look like Heinrich Himmler and that Major
Toht from Raiders all rolled into one... because,
uh, they too looked identical."

Jones travels to Tangier and prevents Helena from selling the first part of the Dial at an auction. Voller and his men arrive and steal the Dial, forcing Jones, Helena, and her sidekick Teddy Kumar (Ethann Isidore) to pursue them in an auto rickshaw. A gangster named Rahim (Alaa Safi), who was previously engaged to Helena, also joins the fray but is halted when his car gets stuck in a narrow alley. Voller is apprehended by Mason, who has been sent to make Voller disappear after the government disavowed him. Instead, Voller and his men kill Mason and steal her helicopter. Jones, Helena, and Teddy follow Voller to Greece, where they enlist the aid of Jones's deep-sea diver friend Renaldo (Antonio "I'm Just Glad to Be Here" Banderas) to retrieve a tablet from the Aegean Sea inscribed with instructions to the second part of the Dial. Although they obtain the tablet, Voller kills Renaldo (thanks for coming, Puss in Boots), and follows Jones's group to Sicily, where they find the second and final piece of the Dial at Archimedes's grave. Voller captures Jones, reassembles the Dial, and reveals his plan to time travel back to 1939 and kill Adolf Hitler in the hopes a better leader will rise and lead Germany to victory in the war. I wasn't sure about this part? I wasn't sure if Voller was just hoping for a new leader, or for the chance to make himself the leader? Anywho, Helena sneaks aboard Voller's plane before it takes off while Teddy pursues them in another plane where he is unknowingly accompanied by its sleeping pilot.

However, Voller fails to take continental drift into consideration, and the fissure in time instead leads them to 212 BC during the Siege of Syracuse. Jones and Helena parachute from the plane as it is shot down by projectiles fired by the warring armies below. Voller and his men die in the ensuing plane crash. Gravely injured, Jones begs Helena to leave him behind in the past, allowing him to become a part of ancient history, but Helena refuses, fearing the possibility of a catastrophic time paradox. Archimedes himself (Nasser Memarzia) arrives, having emerged from his workshop to investigate Voller's crashed plane. More thoughts on this later, ha. Archimedes returns the version of the Dial they brought from the future before Helena knocks Jones out and returns him to 1969 aboard Teddy's plane.

"No godfather Indy, these men are not Nazis.
Everybody knows swastikas are just reversed
Hindi peace symbols."

The movie ends when Jones awakens in his apartment, reuniting with Helena, Teddy, Sallah, and his grandchildren, as well as Marion, who reconciles with Jones. As the others leave for some ice cream, Jones and Marion reminisce about a past conversation before passionately kissing. The movie pans up the side of a building before finding Jones' infamous fedora hanging on a clothesline. As an eye-lid fade out occurs on the hat, signaling Jones' finale, he reaches out and snatches it from the clothesline... and the infamous John Williams "Raiders March" plays over the end credits of Indy's final adventure.

So what did I think of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny? First off, it is a worthy entry in the franchise. It was definitely much more grounded than previous entries, at least up until a certain point. I enjoyed a lot of the action bits, and there were some definite Indiana Jones-esque qualities to them. I did like a lot of the new characters: Voller was an interesting enough bad guy, NASA-hired former Nazi who worked on the Moon landing now a neo-Nazi extremist looking to undo the Reich and rewrite history as he sees fit. Though, I didn't get how he gets clobbered from a train sign at high-speed and somehow survived into 1969. If someone here knows the answer, please tell me in the comments. Phoebe Waller-Bridge did a great job as Helena. I did not expect her character to operate like she did, and it was a joy to see a twist like her being a criminal auctioneer of stolen antiquities, something her godfather Jones would detest, and does in the movie.

I did enjoy watching Harrison Ford leap from one moving car to another even at the ripe old age of seventy-nine/eighty. Was it a stunt double? Oh most likely, but Harrison Ford is used to doing all of his own stunts even to the point of Star Wars: The Force Awakens so I wouldn't have put it past them to let his wrinkly-ass try his hand some other stunts! The score was top notch as well, Williams brought it his all once again. Whimsical action-beaty music for the chases, calming strings for endearing moments; and of course, that powerhouse Raiders March that plays over every Indy movie's ending. Loved it.

Indy's kind of looking at someone here like grouchy old men
do when they hear young people say "I don't know how to
drive stick".

I thought bringing aliens/interdimensional beings into the Indy mythos in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a tad ludicrous at the time, and I didn't think it could really be topped in terms of craziness. However, this movie does seem to top it with the introduction of time travel. Yep, time travel. You read it in the synopsis above. The big endgame in this story is the neo-Nazi's desire to time-travel to 1939 and kill Adolf Hitler. Except, like I mentioned, they miscalculate like a motherfucker and end up in 212 B.C. during the Siege of Syracuse. This is a movie that showcases Nazi warplanes getting shot, or I guess "pulled" down by Roman warship harpoons. Absolute madness, and it's something you're either going to love or hate... but the big thing you're either going to love or hate, is Indy's full-on conversation with Archimedes the scientist. That's right, Indiana Jones has a full one-on-one with the legendary Syracuse Scientist himself. The whole sequence in Syracuse is where I felt the movie can get a little "love/hate" with the audiences. Like people are either going to be like "Yes this is very Indiana Jones-esque" or "This is the biggest load of shit I've ever seen". Kind of like the aliens ending, eh? Me personally... I thought it was a tad silly, but at the same time I mean I put myself in the heads of the writers and was like 'I mean where else could they have gone with it?' or 'how else could they have made it worthwhile?'.

I also need to touch upon the mysterious demise of Mutt Williams, Shia LaBeouf's character from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It's said in this movie, when Helena asks Jones what he would change in the past if he could time travel, that Jones picks preventing his son from enlisting to fight in Vietnam, and when asked how he would prevent him, Jones says he would "tell him that he'll die", that "his mom wouldn't be able to get over her grief", and that it "would lead to the end of her marriage". Now, Mutt if I had to guess was maybe eighteen years old in 1957 during the vents of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, so by Vietnam War time he'd be pushing thirty I would imagine. At least by the estimate of the U.S.'s involvement. It struck me as a bit "odd" that a rebellious greaser like Mutt would rebel harder in his late 20s by agreeing to enlist and fight in Vietnam against his parents' desires. I thought it was a weird way for the filmmakers to look at us and go "Okay fine, okay, see? Shia's not in this one. Relax, we killed him, okay? Just relax." Seemed hasty, tacked on, and I'm not sure if it sits well with me or not.

"Holy smokes, what is this thing?"
"It is a copy of Mein Kampf, her Voller."
"What a kampf it must've been to secure this."
"Well said, her Voller."

On top of that, I must say one of the weaker characters in the movie is Indy himself. I'm a big Indy fan, as I mentioned, and there's certain tropes you look forward to when you watch an Indiana Jones movie. Indy kicks some ass, Indy does some stunts, Indy fights a big guy, and eventually, Indy witnesses the bad guys' downfall, whether executing it himself or watching it happen from afar. This one ticked... two of those? Ha. Indy doesn't really kick some ass, he kind of just gets tossed around and witnesses the fist-fighting from across the room. He does some stunts... but not really to the wow factor of his previous adventures. There is a big guy in the movie, but Indy and he never really cross paths maybe except once or twice, and the rest of the time he just lumbers around before Teddy drowns him. Yep, the little kid does him in. Not to mention the bad guys' fate? It's really on-par with Raiders in both the best and worst ways; Indy's presence in the film is pretty much non-essential, just like Raiders. The Nazis end up failing through their own folly anyway, and Indy doesn't really do them in... they sort of die by the Romans' hands and in a fiery plane crash. So take all that as you will.

All in all, I did enjoy Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. I'm not sure where it fits yet in my ranking. It's definitely nowhere near the caliber of Raiders or Crusade, it's somewhere around Temple of Doom and Crystal Skull in the tier just underneath those. I'm not sure how'd I'd rank them, but I will say this one has some great action beats, lovable characters, charming story elements, a kick-ass opening sequence, and does bring a satisfying conclusive curtain down on the franchise by the end. It does have it's usual bits that'll divide people, as I mentioned, but ultimately, I think it was very worthwhile, and I'd argue worth the delays and wait. Go check it out in theaters while you can!

Catch up on my complete Indiana Jones reviews too!

Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull