A Review of "Cloverfield"

Where we're going, we don't need "Godzilla".

You ever just sit around and watch a movie, wondering why on Earth you picked that movie and not the other one you could've picked? You had Baby's Day Off in your hand and instead, you picked Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo instead? Okay, I don't know why I chose those two movies, but you get the idea.

Way back in 2008, when the Marvel Cinematic Universe was in its infancy stages, Disney had yet to start whoring out Star Wars like a webcam girl for money, and the idea behind filmmaking original ideas was...okay, that was lost back then, too...but there were still some fun and exciting takes on old ideas back in 2008. The Dark Knight was destroying theater competition left and right, but a few of those 2008 movies still stick out in our minds. Like... Cloverfield. "What is Cloverfield?"you may ask yourself, obviously stuck under a rock. Cloverfield was a shaky-cam vomit-inducing horror movie with brilliant setup, entertaining enough characters and a fun location and "doomsday" esque setting that really set the tone for this sort of shaky-cam "found footage" type genre. Everybody knows the one that started the whole found-footage thing was The Blair Witch Project, with its less-than-minuscule budget and presentation using nothing more than a common household camcorder. But we aren't here to talk about The Blair Witch Project, even though I'd like to some day. We're here to talk about Cloverfield, the powerhouse shaky-cam monster movie.

You missed your train, sir

Set in modern day New York City, Cloverfield shows us the lives and times of several characters that intertwine through one night. First there's Rob and Beth; two best friends who spent a night together. Oopsie-daisy. Beth then gets upset because Rob apparently didn't call her after that. Rob's reasoning is that he's leaving to become the vice president of some company in Japan, and didn't wYant Beth to get attached. It is this promotion for Rob that is the center of his brother Jason, his best friend Hud, and Jason's girlfriend Lily's planned surprise going away party for him. The movie showcases the party quite a bit, with the ignorant and well-meaning Hud being tasked with video-taping the whole night. He meets Marlena, a friend of Lily's, someone who is immediately smitten with.

Things take a turn for the weird when an oil tanker capsizes out of nowhere in the Harbor. As everyone flocks to the TV to see it, more explosions take place. The group of partygoers run outside and into the streets, where the head of the Statue of Liberty is flung toward them in one of the most famous shots of the movie. Hud catches a glimpse of the creature on his camcorder and shows it to the others. Jason immediately surmises, sight unseen, that the creature was real and not some puff of rubble moving with the wind and decides to walk his friends and partygoers to the Brooklyn Bridge to get out of Manhattan. On the Bridge, the group and several others are stopped when Rob gets a call from Beth saying she can't move. Just then, a giant tail comes up from the Harbor waters and smashes the Bridge, killing Jason and several other New Yorkers. Rob and the others return to Manhattan and formulate a plan for getting out of the city. Rob says he won't leave without Beth, so the others regrettably follow Rob to Beth's apartment. Throughout their journey, the group gets caught in the crossfire of the US Military and "Clover", a mysterious monster large in scale and brutal in nature. Looking like some sort of extra-terrestrial life form.

Eventually, the group has to take refuge in the subway as the monster bears down on them and the US military. Instead of walking back up to the surface, Rob suggests they walk the train tunnels to another station to try and get closer to Beth's apartment that way. In the tunnel, the group is attacked by large arachnid creatures that fall off of the creature's back and body. Marlena is bitten and later explodes from the bite (literally EXPLODES) when the group finds a military installation inside a shopping mall. The troopers there tell them of the Hammerdown Protocol, where the US military will bomb the shit out of Manhattan trying to kill the monster. Hud, Rob and Lily then flee the installation and continue to Beth's apartment, where they find her pinned under debris. They remove it and make their way back to the helicopter take-off point. Lily is put on a chopper and flees before the next one takes Hud, Beth and Rob. The group witnesses a stealth bomber carpet bomb the monster, but the monster rises from the smoke cloud and knocks their helicopter down, crashing in Central Park. The group awakens at dawn and pull Rob from the downed chopper. Hud is then eaten alive by the monster in one of the coolest shots of the movie. Rob and Beth take the camera and make their way to Central Park where they give final testimonials to the camera, profess their love for one another as the Hammerdown Protocol destroys the bridge they're hiding under.

A gripe I have with the movie is that it is too short, but it's also a mixed gripe because what more could they have done? The movie is sub-90 minutes, barely even breaking 80 minutes. Once "Clover" comes along, the movie's pace expedites exponentially and all of a sudden you blink and the movie's over. The movie's subplot involves footage that the movie keeps cutting to, involving Rob and Beth's visit to Coney Island, which is what the movie ends showing. Rob and Beth get buried under the bridge rubble, then cut to Rob & Beth "having a good day" at Coney Island. 80-something minutes. Short, but ultimately satisfying.

"Quick! Pose for a candid photo amidst the chaos!"

The acting is what it is. I mean, they just had to douse the actors in sweat and tell them to act panicky and freak out about their surroundings and various other things. The dialogue is what aids the movie. The suspense of finding out what the monster attacking New York City is is pretty interesting as the characters are on a journey to figure out what they're up against. I enjoy it. Plus, I mean, Clover is a pretty interesting monster. Its design is quite unique and very different from monsters that have been done up to this point. According to its designer, it is the infant form of its species. Meaning despite its immense size, it is the smallest of its kind, meaning that its mother is huge, father's probably huge-r.

All in all, I enjoy Cloverfield. Its shaky, its short and its ultimately all-for-nothing since each of the main characters meet their end as we find out the tape is just being viewed by government agents, at least we assume that's how it's going. Still, the subplots are at least interesting enough and Clover the monster is awesome with every scene its in either being hectic and jaw-dropping or spine-tingling and suspenseful. Of course, in real life, a movie like Cloverfield should never happen. If you're busy running from a monster, put the fucking camera down and run from the monster. Still, decent movie. Check it out if you're in the mood for some popcorn entertainment. Won't take up much of your night.