James Camer-thon: A Review of "Avatar: The Way of Water"

I don't know why but all I hear is echo-y whimsical music when I see this image--oh cripes, it's working!
James Cameron is a genius!

Happy Friday, and welcome to (as of now) the conclusion of "James Camer-thon". We've covered the man's entire filmography up to this point, excluding Piranha II: The Spawning, naturally. It's time to wrap this marathon up in a neat, little bow! Not a Christmas bow, it's only March after all.

Real men wear war-paint... and also have pretty
snazzy computer-generated dreadlocks!

After the immense success of Avatar, it was revealed by James Cameron sometime in early/mid 2010 that he had plans for FOUR sequels. He would film Avatar 2 and 3 back-to-back, and if those were financially successful, he would do 4 and 5 back-to-back. Rumors even circulated of Avatar 6, 7, and 8 being planned as well. Those were debunked eventually. Getting started, the first Avatar sequel we're here to wrap up with today spent many of its years in production as sort of an internet punchline. Originally scheduled for a December 2014 release, five years after Avatar, the film was subject to numerous delays. I'm talking delay after delay after delay. So much so that I recall seeing IGN articles showing the delays, and Marvel neckbeards commenting "NoBodY cArEs aNyMoRe" repeatedly. I began to believe them... as the first due date passed. So did 2015, and 2016... and 2017 and 2018 afterwards. I began to wonder if this movie would ever see the light of day, or if it was doomed to die in production and its existing footage be shelved or vaulted, never to be seen again. Was James Cameron's career as a filmmaker over?

It wouldn't be until summer 2022 that we would finally get a solid release date of December 16th, 2022. It's title was revealed... Avatar: The Way of Water. Even as summer faded into fall, I was waiting for this movie to get postponed again, but thankfully it never did, and I was able to make it to theaters in January to see it! A movie thirteen years in the making, at a cost of between $350-400 million, reportedly. After all that time, all that wait, all that wondering and hyping... how did the film itself turn out? This is Avatar: The Way of Water... a movie that teaches us if you just wanted to spend thirteen years dunking the first Avatar film underwater and calling it a sequel, you couldn't have done a finer job.

Which one of these is not like the other? Betcha
$10 this kid'll have a pretty strong story arc.

Sixteen years after the Na'vi repelled the RDA invasion of Pandora... of course seen in the events of Avatar, Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) lives as chief of the Omatikaya clan and raises a family with Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), which includes sons Neteyam (Jamie Flatters) and Lo'ak (Britain Dalton), daughter Tuk (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss). They also care for adopted children Kiri (born from Grace Augustine's inert avatar, therefore played by Sigourney Weaver) and Spider (Jack Champion), the Pandora-born human son of the late Colonel Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang). To the Na'vi's dismay, the RDA, led by their new leader, Frances Ardmore (Edie Falco), returns to colonize Pandora as Earth is dying. Among the new arrivals are Recombinants—Na'vi avatars implanted with deceased human soldiers' memories—with Quaritch's recombinant serving as the leader. There, now you have your decade-long question of "How in the name of hell do Sigourney and Stephen Lang appear in this if they died in Avatar?" answered! Only took thirteen years to find out, and by then you probably forgot you were even wondering.

A year later, Jake leads a guerilla campaign against the RDA. During a counterinsurgency mission, Quaritch and his subordinates capture Jake's children. Jake and Neytiri arrive and free them, killing several of Quaritch's soldiers, but Spider remains captured by Quaritch, who recognizes him as his son. I'm not exactly sure how... given that Quaritch died right as Spider was born... and infants don't look like teenagers very well. I guess it's just that father/son genome? Anywho, after the RDA fails to get information from Spider, Quaritch decides to spend time with his son to draw him on his side. In turn, Spider teaches Quaritch about Na'vi culture and language. Aware of the danger posed by Spider's knowledge of his whereabouts, Jake and his family exile themselves from the Omatikaya and retreat to Pandora's eastern seaboard, where the Metkayina clan gives them refuge. There, the family learns the ways of the reef people, Kiri develops a spiritual bond with the sea, and Lo'ak befriends Tsireya (Bailey Bass), the daughter of chief Tonowari (Cliff Curtis) and his wife, Ronal (Kate Winslet... back again from her time being lambasted by Cameron during the making of Titanic! Hehehe).

"Hello, we are your new water-tribe leaders for this movie.
Betcha $10 one of us will die and/or play a pretty important
role in your acceptance!

After defending Kiri against Aonung (Filip Geljo), Tonowari's son, Lo'ak apologizes at Jake's insistence. Aonung and his friends then entice Lo'ak to a trip into a sea predator's territory and leave him stranded. After being saved from a giant sea beast, Lo'ak is befriended by Payakan, a Tulkun—an intelligent and pacifistic whale-like species whom the Metkayina consider their spiritual brethren. I call him "Free Willy"... because that's what we all thought when we saw this dynamic at play. Upon his return, Lo'ak wins Aonung's friendship by taking the blame for the trip but is told that Payakan is an outcast among the Tulkun. Later, Kiri links to the Metkayina's underwater Spirit Tree and spiritually "meets" her biological mother, Grace, whose consciousness lives within Pandora. During the link-induced trance, Kiri suffers a seizure and falls unconscious, nearly drowning. I guess Sigourney Weaver is trying to kill Sigourney Weaver then? She must want out of the series of sequels... as at this rate she'll be waiting until 2050 to be done.

Jake summons Norm Spellman (Joel David Moore) and Max Patel (Dileep Rao) for help using their medical equipment, where they diagnose Kiri with epilepsy and warn that she cannot connect to the Spirit Tree again, as doing so may kill her. Including these two lovable side characters was a nice "Hey, sorry about the thirteen year long wait. You guys remember the first Avatar? We sure do!" moment, and it was nice to see Norm back. I really like Norm, and Joel David Moore. Although Ronal saves Kiri, Quaritch tracks Norm and Max's aircraft to the archipelago where the Metkayina live. Bringing Spider with him, Quaritch joins forces with the RDA's marine operations, led by Captain Mick Scoresby (Brendan Cowell), and commandeers a whaling vessel that hunts Tulkuns to extract an anti-aging serum called amrita. Ha, one of the worst moments of the movie is "This is the richest liquid in the universe"... and then it's never mentioned again. Quaritch's squad raids the archipelago, interrogating the tribes about Jake's location to no avail. Quaritch then orders the whalers to kill Tulkuns near the villages to draw Jake out. Lo'ak mentally links with Payakan and learns that he was cast out because he went against the pacifist ways of his species and attacked the whalers who killed his mother, causing many deaths. Good for you Free Willy, though, may want to pump the brakes on the murders. Probably just swamp their boats from now on?

*Whale noises* "I know, Free Willy, we're not in Kansas
anymore!"*Whale noises* "Don't tell me to pick just
one cliché, can't be done!"

When the Metkayina learns of the Tulkun killings, Lo'ak warns Payakan, followed by his siblings and friends. They find Payakan being hunted, and Quaritch captures Lo'ak, Tsireya, and Tuk. Really? AGAIN?! How many times are the children going to get captured?! You'd think they'd learn by now. Jake, Neytiri, and the Metkayina set out to confront the humans and rescue the kids. Quaritch forces Jake to surrender, but Payakan attacks the whalers, triggering a fight between the Metkayina and the crew members. Spider cripples the vessel, and Payakan severs Scoresby's arm. Neteyam rescues Lo'ak, Tsireya, and Spider but is killed after being fatally shot by Quaritch. Devastated, both parents go back to save their remaining children that were recaptured; upon facing Quaritch's team, Neytiri flies into a grieving rage and brutally murders many of them, accidentally breaking her father's bow in the process. Jake faces Quaritch, who uses Kiri as a hostage, and when Neytiri does the same with Spider, Quaritch at first denies their relationship but desists once Neytiri attempts to kill Spider. Pretty messed up for Neytiri to pantomime killing the adopted son she's cared for into teenage years, but I mean... it works so... bonus points?

Jake, Quaritch, Neytiri, and Tuk are trapped inside the sinking vessel. After a tense skirmish, Jake strangles Quaritch unconscious and is rescued by Lo'ak and Payakan, while Kiri rescues Neytiri and Tuk. Spider rescues Quaritch but refuses to go with him and rejoins Jake's family, at which point he is welcomed as a true son. After Neteyam's funeral, Jake informs Tonowari of his decision to leave the Metkayina. Still, the chief respectfully identifies Jake as part of the clan and welcomes him and his family to stay. Before vowing to resume their campaign against the RDA, Jake and his family accept and live their new life at sea... that is until Avatar 3 drops in 2035 where Jake and Neytiri will take their kids go join a tribe of Na'vi that dwells in Goron City or something.

"Jeez, the last time I saw myself look like that, Barack
Obama was president!"

What did we learn from this film today? Honestly, Avatar: The Way of Water, while entertaining... I'm not sure if it holds up to the thirteen-year delay between movies we were faced with. Don't get me wrong! Again, visually stunning and captivating, and even moreso than its predecessor in some spots. The Na'vi traversing water and swimming underwater never looked so beautiful, and again, screencaps from this movie measure up to be a solid Windows desktop background! Ha, but the storytelling again is pretty cliche. Which may just have to be this movie franchise's tagline. I can tell we're on our way to seeing the four sequels to Avatar that are planned are basically going to traverse the four main elements; earth, air, fire, and water. Avatar was already Earth. Avatar: The Way of Water is self-explanatory, and though I joked about it Avatar 3 has already been rumored to circle around a fire tribe of Na'vi housed in a volcano somewhere on Pandora.

Again, it brings up the question of whether or not the Avatar series is made for true filmmaking or just to showcase advancements in special effects technology. James Cameron as a way of making all his stories flow in similar manners. I could really predict where a lot of this story was going. Jake and family get banished, they come to a tribe of water Na'vi, the water Na'vi test them and they are embarrassed, but the water tribe and Jake's family then band together when a mutual threat arrives and fight the RDA to basically a no contest. Some other tropes are Quaritch ditching the scene but subtly vowing return, meaning he'll be the primary antagonist for Avatar 3. Same ol' same ol'.

"Na'vi! Surrender or be killed!"
"Woah, all joking aside; don't you guys think our
little setup here would make a badass LEGO set?!"

The runtime is also a little brutal, and by the end when the ship was sinking and the heroes and Quaritch were trapped in it, I found myself wondering if the movie was going to end. I had fun throughout, don't get me wrong, but I felt drained a little bit by the end. Worn out, I guess. Lots of action and gunplay and hijinks by the two hour, thirty minute mark. Especially when I could predict stuff. See above. It's also weird to me how after one viewing, I can't even name his children. I had to copy and paste them directly from Wikipedia. I'm not even ashamed. I know Jake, Neytiri, Spider, Quaritch... Tsu'tey? No that was the tribe-tough-guy knock off from the first one. See? I can't name their kids at all off the top of my head. I'll bet you can't either! Go ahead... I'll wait--wait I can't test you like this.

Honestly, all joking aside... Avatar: The Way of Water is ok. It tried to be James Camerons' third classic sequel he's entered into pop culture, in terms of scale, grandiose storytelling, and visual effects triumph. It... didn't quite hit those marks, but it still is a pretty impressive sequel, in my opinion. Again, I don't think the Avatar series is really James Cameron's highest mark of storytelling, but it is a very high mark for visual wonderment. I appreciate it for what it is, and if you have three hours to set aside one day (I know you do since most of you binge watch stuff!) I say give it a shot just say you've seen it. Expect what is basically Avatar again, but with some different tropes and cliches thrown in, but you'll still enjoy the ride if you ask me. 

That is James Camer-thon all wrapped up into a little bow! Thanks for reading, and I'll be back next week with yet another series-spanning weeks of posts. Could get a little apey, we may go ape shit, but that's only if we stop monkey-ing around. I'm talking gorilla warfare! Hi, publishing companies? Please hire me! I come complete with boatloads of cringe, free of charge!