HALLOWEEN 2K23: A Review of "Scream 4"

"My name is Ghostface, some call me 'Ghostface'. My shtick may be getting old, but my victims aren't!"
*Ba dum tss*

It's time for Octoberfest to continue, after a long fourteen day wait. I've been horrifically slacking. Get ready for a rapid-fire of planned posts over the next (and final) week of October. Hey this is Spookytober on Spoiler Alert, so my scheduling is a bit out of whack. I've also been thinking of taking the month of December off from blogging for the future. Just as a breather/refresher and to give me time to come up with some new ideas to kick off the next year.

"How much are we getting paid for these cameos?"
"I just wanted to have my chance at sitting on a couch with
the great Rogue of the X-Men!"
"Oh my God, could we hire someone who's not a complete
nerd?!"

BUT NO TIME FOR THAT! It's time to review the next three Scream movies! Between one post in 2019, and the two we've done for this October in 2023, we've covered the original trilogy. So far, it's been a slowly descending quality line. Scream is great, Scream 2 is equally great, and Scream 3 tried to be equally good but came up short in a few places; ultimately it's still a good movie in my eyes. But that was then, and this is now. We're onto the big reboot-quel that came out eleven years later. This movie came out after my 18th birthday in 2011, and was once again directed by Wes Craven like the three movies before it. It was also written by Kevin Williamson just like Scream and Scream 2 were. So the movie-jargon-rambling dialogue is back! Who's also back? Sidney? Gale? Dewey? ALL of the above! So it's the perfect Scream reboot-quel right?

WRONG! Haha, while not a a great movie, Scream 4... also stylized as Scre4m, tried to really grasp a new generation of movie goers. It did, I'm sure it did. The three original trilogy movies are loved and worshipped horror movies, so why shouldn't Scream 4 succeed? Especially in 2011? Well... upon a rewatch by me for this review, it kind of ended up being just... plain dull. I think this was the script where I saw Kevin Williamson really starting to believe Scream 4's hype just a little too hard. Let's dive in and dissect this turkey.

On the 15th anniversary week of the original Woodsboro murders, as of course depicted in Scream, high school students Jenny Randall (Aimee Teegarden) and Marnie Cooper (Britt Robertson) are murdered by Ghostface (voiced by Roger L. Jackson). Sidney Prescott (Neve "This bit is getting old" Campbell) returns to Woodsboro the following day to promote her self-help book with her publicist, Rebecca Walters (Alison Brie, of all people!). After evidence is found in her rental car, Sidney becomes a prime suspect in the murders and must stay in town until they are solved... somebody clearly has it out for Sidney! ................. again!

LIVE LOOK IN: Courteney Cox, with the end of Scream
and F*R*I*E*N*D*S upon her, watches her career come
crashing down upon her.

Sidney's cousin, Jill Roberts (Emma Roberts), who is coping with the infidelity of her ex-boyfriend, Trevor Sheldon (Nico Tortorella), gets a threatening phone call from Ghostface, as does her friend Olivia Morris (Marielle Jaffe). Jill and Olivia, alongside their friend Kirby Reed (Hayden Panettiere)... ya gotta love these Kevin Williamson/Scream-ass names. Anywho, they're questioned about their calls by Dewey Riley (David "My pro wrestling career is starting soon" Arquette), now the town's sheriff, while his deputies Judy Hicks (Marley Shelton), Anthony Perkins (Anthony Anderson... no not the Psycho guy), and Hoss (Adam Brody) assist him in the case. Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox-Arquette), Dewey's wife, is struggling with writer's block and decides to investigate the murders against her husband's wishes. That night, as Sidney stays over with Jill and her aunt Kate (Mary McDonnell), Olivia is killed by Ghostface as Jill and Kirby watch in horror from across the street. Sidney herself is then confronted by Ghostface, and they fight until Ghostface is forced to flee when Perkins and Hoss arrive. Sidebar: I wonder if Neve Campbell goes to therapy and her therapist has her beat the shit out of a dummy dressed as Ghostface to get her anger/rage out?

At the hospital, Sidney fires Rebecca after learning of her desire to exploit the murders to increase book sales, and Rebecca is subsequently murdered by Ghostface at a parking garage. NOOO now who will Dave Franco marry? Gale enlists the help of two high school movie fanatics, Charlie Walker (Rory Culkin) and Robbie Mercer (Erik Knudsen). Charlie theorizes that the killer is following the rules of horror remakes, and Gale and Sidney conclude that the killer will likely strike at the "Stabathon", a screening party held in a barn where teenagers gather to binge watch all seven movies of the Stab franchise. "What are the rules of a horror remake?" I hear you cry out from the toilet? Well my friends... it goes like this:

1. Don't fuck with the original.
2. The Death scenes have to be way more extreme (which isn't original, this is Scream 2's rule but just... again).
3. Unexpected is the new cliche.
4. Virgins can die now.
5. New versions are always 2.0, so the latest technology is always involved and integral to the plot. This means the killer may start filming the murders.
6. You have to have an opening sequence... (which is just a lazy rule).
7. If you want to survive in a modern-day horror movie, you pretty much have to be gay. (Hasty justification, if you ask me).

LIVE LOOK IN: David Arquette pulls a gun in his latest
hardcore wrestling death match.

Gale sneaks into the party to investigate, but Ghostface attacks her, stabbing her in the shoulder. Hoss and Perkins, who were assigned to guard Jill's house, are also murdered. Sidney discovers through another taunting call from Ghostface that Jill has left for Kirby's, before Ghostface attacks her and Kate, killing the latter. Jill, Kirby, Charlie, Robbie, and Trevor arrive for an after party at Kirby's house when Ghostface strikes, killing a drunken Robbie. Sidney arrives to leave with Jill, but they are both chased by Ghostface. As Sidney calls Dewey and tries to find Jill, Kirby frees Charlie, who was bound and gagged, but he immediately stabs her, revealing himself as Ghostface before leaving her to bleed out. Sidney is confronted by Charlie and a second Ghostface, who reveals herself as Jill. She admits to masterminding the murders out of jealousy from the fame that Sidney received for surviving the previous killing sprees and desires to achieve clout as a pseudo-victim of the murders, intending to frame Trevor as Ghostface. Jill kills Trevor and betrays Charlie, stabbing him to death to pin him as Trevor's accomplice so she can be the sole survivor. She then stabs Sidney and mutilates herself to frame Trevor further.

Dewey and the police arrive as Sidney and Jill are taken to the hospital. After discovering that Sidney has survived, an enraged Jill goes to her hospital room and makes a final attempt to kill her, but Sidney fights back. Dewey, Gale, and Judy intervene, after Dewey learns she was the killer by the fact that Jill somehow knew exactly where Gale was stabbed. Jill subdues Dewey and Hicks and holds Gale at gunpoint, but Sidney incapacitates Jill with a defibrillator and ultimately kills her by shooting her heart. Dewey calls in all police units, as reporters outside erroneously name Jill as the "sole surviving hero".

That's Scream 4. Wes Craven's last foray into the Scream franchise before his untimely passing in 2015. The last one also that had the OG three as the titular protagonists; Neve, Courteney, and David. How does Scream 4 hold up? Well... to sum it up in one post-ending paragraph, I wasn't a fan upon a rewatch. Scream 4 isn't as good as the original trilogy, and gosh dang it it tried. At this point, in my opinion, the main three characters' gimmicks got stale. The only thing that's this movie's saving grace is the side-characters and little fan-service moments, like referencing once again the in-universe Stab movies, having celebrity cameos for the Stab movies as well (Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell).

These two nerds took the concept of being Twitch streamer
nerds and made it uncool five years before it became
mainstream cool.

Still... it's a worthy enough entry in the series, which is something to say about Scream 4. Even when I consider it the weakest entry in the series, it's still watchable and enjoyable. It isn't painful to sit through at all; it's still entertaining. So, while I don't favor it above the first three, or what comes after, it does still hold a candle and does the franchise justice. While I think some of the rules that were invented for this one seem lazy and recycled, at least to me, it's still ticking all the checkboxes of what makes a Scream movie great. That's all we need. Murders? Wes Craven? Neve Campbell? Courteney Cox? David Arquette? Roger L. Jackson? All here, all putting in effort. Man, the day Roger L. Jackson dies is the day Scream dies if you ask me.

If you're watching through Scream this Halloween season, make sure to give Scream 4 a try at least. Maybe you'll like it more than me. That's fine, but at least it's worth a watch! I give it a thumbs up... but just one.

As for the rest of our show for October this year, check in soon as we rapid fire our remaining posts for Halloween 2K23 at you! Stay tuned, my dudes and ladies. We're nearly to the spookiest day of the year!