HALLOWEEN 2K20: John Carpenter Tribute - A Review of "The Thing"

"With this wire, and this flamethrower, I will be able to conjure a bomb to kill the Thing!"
"Uh, last time I checked, your name was MacReady, not MacGyver."

Welcome back, and happy Monday. I know the two of the last three posts in this John Carpenter Tribute of mine weren't necessarily horror films, but seeing as how this month is a tribute to the Master of Horror, I couldn't do the month without also including some of his less-spooky, more shooty style films as well. Never fear, lads and lasses, because the next few items for discussion are horror classics, starting with arguably his biggest horror classic many consider to be his crowning achievement... after that other film about the guy in the mask, but I am GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF.

You and your drunk friends showing up at a
Denny's at 3 AM like "We need a table for five"

We're here today to talk about The Thing. Based on the 1938 John W. Campbell Jr. novella Who Goes There?, The Thing tells the story of a group of American researchers in Antarctica who encounter the so-named and vaguely-referred-to "Thing", a parasitic alien life-form that assimilates, then imitates other organisms. The group is overcome by paranoia and conflict as they learn that they can no longer trust each other and that any one of them could be the Thing. Production began in the mid-1970s as a faithful adaptation of the novella, following 1951's The Thing from Another World, which was produced and co-written by one of John Carpenter's all-time filmmaking heroes, Howard Hawkes. Carpenter himself was reluctant to take on the project, as he felt the original film couldn't be topped. However, while the film was not a success in theaters and received mainly negative reviews, it would find new life as a video rental and developed a strong following, with many considering it one of the greatest horror movies ever made. It has become so notable that in fact, many don't know it's technically a loose remake of the 1951 Hawkes film, it is often considered a standalone horror film. So let's take a look at The Thing, a movie that teaches us you can always trust your best friend... until they're assimilated by an alien organism that then wants to kill you.

"You guys, I went into the freezer to get the last
Jack's Pizza and I think I found Narnia."

In Antarctica, a Norwegian helicopter pursues a sled dog to an American research station. The Americans witness the Norwegian passenger accidentally blow up the helicopter and himself, like a real goof of an idiot. Seriously, not the best light to portray the Norwegians. The Norwegian pilot fires a rifle and shouts at the Americans, but they cannot understand him and he is shot dead in self-defense by station commander Garry (Donald Moffat). He shoots him like a marksman with a fucking revolver, by the way. The Norwegian has an assault rifle, Garry has a revolver. Who would really win in this situation? The American helicopter pilot, R.J. MacReady (Kurt Russell), and Dr. Copper (Richard Dysart) leave to investigate the Norwegian base. Among the charred ruins and frozen corpses, they find the burned remains of a malformed humanoid which they recover to the American station. Their biologist, Blair (Wilford "Diabeetus" Brimley), performs autopsies on the remains and finds a normal set of human organs.

"How many times I gotta tell you guys, being
tied up triggers Garry's bondage fetish now CUT
ME LOOSE!"

Clark (Richard Masur) kennels the sled dog, and it soon metamorphoses and absorbs the station dogs. This disturbance alerts the team and Childs (Keith David) uses a flamethrower to incinerate the creature. Blair autopsies the new creature and learns that it can perfectly imitate other organisms. Recovered Norwegian data leads the Americans to a large excavation site containing a partially buried alien spacecraft, and a smaller, human-sized dig site. Norris (Charles Hallahan) estimates that the alien ship has been buried for at least a hundred thousand years. Blair grows paranoid that the creature could assimilate all life on Earth in a matter of years. The station implements controls to reduce the risk of assimilation. The malformed humanoid creature assimilates an isolated Bennings (Peter Maloney), but Windows (Thomas Waites) interrupts the process and MacReady burns the Bennings-Thing. Blair sabotages all the vehicles, kills the remaining sled dogs, and destroys the radio to prevent escape. The team imprisons him in a tool shed. Copper suggests a test to compare each member's blood against uncontaminated blood held in storage, but after learning that the blood stores have been destroyed, the men lose faith in Garry, and MacReady takes command.

"Either that thing's a spaceship, or we're not in
Kansas anymore." "Both those things are true,
you idiot!"

MacReady, Windows and Nauls (T.K. Carter) find Fuchs's (Joel Polis) burnt corpse and surmise he committed suicide to avoid assimilation. Windows returns to base while MacReady and Nauls investigate MacReady's shack. On their return, Nauls abandons MacReady in a snowstorm, believing he has been assimilated after finding his torn clothes in the shack. The team debate whether to allow MacReady inside, but he breaks in and holds the group at bay with dynamite. During the encounter, Norris appears to suffer a heart attack. As Copper attempts to defibrillate Norris, his chest transforms into a large mouth and bites off Copper's arms, killing him. MacReady incinerates the Norris-Thing, but its head detaches and attempts to escape before also being burnt. MacReady is forced to kill Clark in self-defense when the latter lunges at him from behind with a knife. He hypothesizes that the Norris-Thing's head demonstrated that every part of the Thing is an individual life form with its own survival instinct. He sequentially tests blood samples with a heated piece of wire. Everyone passes the test except Palmer (David Clennon), whose blood jumps from the heat. Exposed, Palmer transforms and infects Windows, forcing MacReady to burn them both.

The face you make when you sit on something
and it slides up inside.

Childs is left on guard while the others go to test Blair. They find that Blair has escaped, and has been using vehicle components to assemble a small spacecraft. On their return, Childs is missing and the power generator is destroyed. MacReady speculates that the Thing intends to return to hibernation until a rescue team arrives. MacReady, Garry, and Nauls decide to detonate the entire station to destroy the Thing. As they set explosives, Blair kills Garry and Nauls disappears. Blair transforms into an enormous creature and destroys the detonator. MacReady triggers the explosives using a stick of dynamite, destroying the base. MacReady sits nearby as the station burns. Childs returns, saying he became lost in the storm while pursuing Blair. Exhausted and slowly freezing to death, they acknowledge the futility of their distrust and share a bottle of scotch...

With good reason, The Thing is yet another triumph by Carpenter, and the reason for its success is spread all over the place. First, the creature effects. The film's considered a benchmark in special make-up effects. The effects were created by Rob Bottin, who was only 22 when he started the project. In the film you see a mannequin of Norris have it's stomach open up into a giant mouth and devour another man's hands. You see Norris's head spider Thing creature crawl away. It's all frighteningly good, and has been "complimented" so to speak as a good "barf bag movie". Many of the effects are so believable, they cause viewers to retch at the sight of them. However, much to Carpenter's dismay, original 1951 The Thing from Another World director Christian Nyby publicly denounced Carpenter's version, saying, "If you want blood, go to the slaughterhouse. All in all, it's a terrific commercial for J&B Scotch."

No jokes at all. Top-notching practical Hollywood
special and visual effects right here.

Another reason for how much I love the The Thing, in my view, is the bleak tone. Not many people got along with the bleak tone, but I loved it. Remember in my Assault on Precinct 13 review when I mentioned Carpenter movies as setting up good horror elements by forcing our characters into a situation not only of being stalked but by being stalked in a single setting, isolated from the rest of the world? I love The Thing for exercising this story element. It all takes place in one outpost in Antarctica, and aside from the brief visit to the Norwegian base, it's the only setting you see. While the setting, story, and horror elements are all stellar and deviate mildly in quality, the characters to me are hit or miss. I like Brimley until he goes nuts, but I guess the alien would have an affect like that. Russell as MacReady goes without saying that he leads and, in some places, carries the film on his back like a champion. I'll also love any film that has Keith David involved in some extent, and Childs is a welcome tough-guy inclusion to the movie as well. The rest of the guys? Pretty forgettable. Windows tried to be the comedic relief but wasn't very funny and he himself ended up going nuts. Palmer too. Still, I suppose that adds to the bleak tone of the film so I can't really complain.

Karen when your manager isn't on duty.

Regardless, I love The Thing. I only recently in the past couple of years discovered it and have already watched it a few times. Each time I watch it gets better, and creepier. The isolating tone, the snowy apocalyptic setting, the freezing temps mixed with the terror of knowing the man you once called your friend could at anytime turn on you after being assimilated by an alien organism. It's the perfect, no pun-intended chilling tone for a film, and has become an archetype for the similar kinds of films that would follow. It even inspired a whole episode of The X-Files, you've heard me mention in my review of season one, called "Ice". So much so that the episode even used archive footage pictures of the same compound from The Thing, and mimicked the narrative with compelling characters that grew to distrust each other following infections from an alien body. Talk about the world's biggest ripoff artist, eh?

If you haven't already, sit down and watch John Carpenter's The Thing. It's got suspense, thrills, chills (scares, not because it's cold), and tense moments. The hunt for the imposter is on! Give The Thing a try. The cinematography is brilliant, and while the dialogue may be wonky at times, the acting is at least compelling, and as I've said before, the setting and story are top-notch, top o'the line. You'll love it... another classic.