My Honest Reaction to "The Last Jedi" Trailer

By now, you're all probably wondering what my thoughts are on the latest trailer for the upcoming Star Wars adventure. It's episode number eight in the saga, titled "The Last Jedi". Of oourse by "you all", I mean my three-or-four faithful readers. You guys would each get a Prius if I could afford to just hand them out like compliments.

The trailer was...okay. I mean, I'm not one of the yuppies out there that cries at every Star Wars announcement anymore. Truth be told, I'm kind of tired of Star Wars being pumped into theaters every single year. I thought it'd be a good idea in the beginning, but then it happened and took it's toll. Wait, hang on, let's be clear, I need to put you in the right mindset. It's 2013, the last new Star Wars movie was eight years ago. Eight fucking years. That was Episode III. Sure, you had The Clone Wars movie in there somewhere, but who gives a flying Millennium Falcon about that movie or the TV series that mutated from it. Not I. If you do, that's fine. I'm not here to shit on it or you. I've kinda always had a love-hate relationship with all the tie-in garbage that's been rolled out in the past forty years, mostly because the expanded universe has turned these six simple movies into a universe of weird, sometimes redundant, ridiculously numerous levels of storytelling. I mean, how many adventures can one guy go on? When do Anakin or Obi-Wan just get to sit and chill on the couch with a case of beer or whatever alcohol space-monks drink and veg out from any adventures? You have adventures with Anakin at age 8, at age 9, at age 11, at age 13, at age 15...just shut the f-- I don't care! That's too much reading and life's too short to give a shit about every single detail--Okay I got way off track here. Backtracking!

It's 2013, Disney is in full-motion swing with Star Wars Episode VII coming out in two years. You're hyped. It's the newest Star Wars adventure I was going to get to see since junior high school. I was a super-senior in fucking college by the time Episode VII, the Force Awakens came out. That's a ten-year hiatus out of theaters. I've let you know about my opinions of The Force Awakens loosely (which you can view here) so we won't go into that. Once you watch The Force Awakens, you sort of have that olden-days mindset of "Okay, so now the movies are going to take two more years before they come out. I have to wait (x) days before the next Star Wars related thing is shoved into theaters". Except, I didn't. Rogue One was literally in theaters that very next year. The very next year after that, Episode VIII, now known as The Last Jedi is on its way. It's just about here and they just had their latest trailer for it. So...being a Star Wars fan practically out of the womb...why didn't I really react to it?

The trailer itself was alright, I mean it didn't feel like it was groundbreaking by any means. You saw funky-looking First Order walkers, you saw Rey doing some new force-things, you saw Mark Hamill finally act on the big screen for the first time since the Carter administration, you saw Porgs....whatever-the-fuck Porgs are...so why did I just not care? Rian Johnson keeps telling us or at least hinting to us that this one's going to be epic. That it's going to be one of the greatest Star Wars stories to ever come down the pike. Is my being-jaded toward everything Star Wars the reason for my blase reaction? There were even some things in it that made you think. Like Kylo Ren struggling to hit the button that'll shoot a laser into a ship that'll kill his mommy, Leia. Then in the very end, Rey is talking to Kylo all like "show me my place in all this" and Kylo extends his hand. For how much I can't stand the character of Rey, it'd be pretty badass if she turned to the dark side. Not gonna lie, that'll make me go "Woah". Of course, you can't have Rey turn to the dark side because 99% of the current Star Wars fan base is behind her and supporting her and loving her action figure so again Lucasfilm really has to make a call between merchandising and storytelling. Luckily Lucas isn't at the helm anymore or we would've already seen Rey kill everything that opposes the Resistance within the first five minutes...just to sell those fucking Rey action figures to the kiddies. You see Snoke in his true form, which makes him look like the bubblegum a sixth grader slaps under the desk at school. Also his line "Fulfill your destiny" is literally the most recycled line in the saga, so way to be original on that one. As I mentioned, Luke Skywalker is back in full-force. He looks like a grizzled hermit you'd find living under the bridge asking to give you a handjob in exchange for some heroin money. Plus, his robotic hand technology went backwards. In Return of the Jedi, his robotic hand was literally a human hand with cybernetic components inside. In The Last Jedi, it looks like a regular robotic hand. Some backtracking in tech there, Luke.

When you're playing limbo and you go back too far...

I just, I don't know. It looks like just another manufactured, pumped out Star Wars movie to me. It's hard for me to get crazy about all this, especially at this age. I mean, we've been given a teaser and a trailer, both that kind of show the same material, just the longer trailer being a little more elaborative. Whether Rian Johnson just hates the idea of trailers and doesn't want anything of any value to be seen, or he just doesn't know how to make trailers, its anyone's guess. I just hope they do something fresh, for goodness sake. Something crazy, something that'll shock everybody. Not change something, not that kind of shock. Lord knows Lucasfilm is really good about backtracking and changing history. I just want this one to stand out, some how. The Force Awakens was awesome on the first, midnight screening, pretty cool on the second 'middle-of-theatrical-run' screening, and just gets more dull each time you watch it. None of the imagery really stands out. Literally the only thing that's really memorable about VII, is BB-8. You think of VII, you think of BB-8. You also think of Rey, but that's only because of how shoved-down-your-throat she is. Finn gets no love and Poe may as well not even be there. When this new trilogy was announced, everyone was like "Aww yeah, a new trio of fresh faces!" Then one gets 80% of the character development and 75% of the screen time, while the other two split the rest.

Again, take my comments with a grain of salt. All this hype and building up of things and the constant "Hey we have a new Star Wars movie coming out this year is wearing me out." The love and hype for Star Wars was there in full when The Force Awakens came out, but only two years later with TWO Star Wars films to tie me over, the hype for The Last Jedi just isn't there for me. If you're hyped and excited, good for you. I hope you enjoy it. As for me, I have yet to decide if I want to spring for those midnight movie tickets, or just sit that out and wait for it on a Sunday matinee, or something.