Cody's Top 30 Favorite Movies of All-Time: #26 - American Pie

From 1980's cheesecake to 1990's apple pie. My favorite teen-comedy-sexploitation-raunchy-crazy-family movie of all-time, and one that still gives me the feels.

1999 was an awful year for any movie that wasn't titled "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace." Any movie coming out that summer either had its box-office debuts suffer or its entire box-office run suffer even worse. This movie's trailer promptly advertised it as "In the list of movies to see after seeing Star Wars".

Four high school seniors make an agreement with each other that they'll lose their virginity before their senior prom; Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs), Kevin "Kev" Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (Chris Klein) and Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas). Each of the four go about their task in their own way, as Kevin also tries to make sure his girlfriend Vicki (Tara Reid) knows that he loves her and that they'll spend their prom night making sweet whoopie. Jim is tasked with attempting ti swoon Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) to the senior prom, but humiliates both him and her with an awkward sex video that gets broadcasted across the internet. He ends up settling for the "flute-toting band geek" Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan). Finch attempts to spread rumors throughout the entire school that make him look good in an effort to attract girls to asking him out to prom as opposed to him asking them. Finally, Oz decides that going for popular chicks would be too easy and he'd be the first one laid, so he decides to go to choir practice for his high school and hit-on Heather Gardner (Mena Suvari).

...but the one who takes the movie and runs with it is Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott). This is the birth of the "jock douchebag" character that's overly obnoxious and ill-equipped to handle anything with any real love and devotion. He's in it for the sex and only the sex. Stifler has all the quotable lines and even has a mother that everyone lovingly refers to as "MILF"...aww, that's so sweet.

The other character that is just downright spectacular is Noah Levenstein, Jim's father, played by Eugene Levy. He, much like Stifler, steals every scene he's in. He's so awkward in explaining sexual things to his son to the point where it becomes laughably uncomfortable. Eugene Levy is also the only character to appear in all eight American Pie films, main series and spin-offs.

There were many teen-comedramas back in the day but this one is the reigning champion of them all. This one, even though its premise sounds epicly ridiculous to base an entire movie off of, it works so well because of the emotion involved and that the kids come to learn that sex isn't everything. Jim has speil at the end that puts it all in perspective as to what high school kids pressure themselves into, even by today's standards. "I haven't even had sex and already I'm tired of talking about it. I hate sex!" The ending to the movie sees the four men rise to the occasion (which may or may not be a pun) and receiving their just-rewards.

Somehow, some way, this movie managed to touch the hearts of millions of people because it somehow spawned three main-series sequels and four spin-off movies (all of which are even more ridiculous). In my book, American Pie is a classic. I love, and you should check it out if you haven't already, but only if you're in for a wild trip back to the mind of a high-school student.

Cody's Top 30 Favorite Movies of All-Time: #27 - RoboCop

Don't worry, it's not that rinky-dink, watered down PG-13 remake either. This is that memorable, balls-to-the-wall, violent, hard-R film that kicks your ass into your throat, reaches down and pulls your ass out of your mouth, and then kicks it up your own ass again...

...okay, I don't really know where I was going with that, but let me just say that RoboCop is yet another quality chunk of 1980's pop culture that makes it into my top thirty. Peter Weller plays Alex Murphy, a police officer who transfers into a crime-ridden precinct of "old Detroit". There, he's partnered up with Officer Anne Lewis (Nancy Allen) for a grand total of ten minutes before he's obliterated by shotgun fire. The "origin story" for RoboCop isn't one for the faint-of-heart. He's literally mutilated beyond repair by shotgun fire and then rebuilt into a crime-busting cyborg for the city from Hell.

The leader of the gang of baddies is Kurtwood Smith, known to everyone as that one guy from the 70's who really likes putting feet in people's asses. Only now, he's playing a sadistic cop-murderer with a pension for just not giving a shit about anything. RoboCop soon starts to remember who he is and, one-by-one, injures and captures Clarence's gang before capturing him at a cocaine factory shootout. Clarence has some of the coolest lines in the movie, including spitting blood on the booking papers and saying "Just give me my fucking phone call."

Along with Clarence and RoboCop, there's a side-plot. Miguel Ferrera plays Bob Morton, an up-and-coming executive with OCP who's the brains behind the RoboCop program. It's the RoboCop program that OCP goes with in lieu of the ED-209 crime-fighting robot, courtesy of Dick Jones (Ronny Cox). Dick Jones is the financier of the warforce to tear Detroit apart and...

Look, I'm gonna end up ruining something major. Just know the action's awesome, the violence-and-gore are there in spades, and it's a hard-R film that was sold to kids, as were most adult films back in the day. It's brooding, it's got a very comic book feel to it, and it's one of those 1980's iconic pop culture movies that everyone should see at least once. Even the religious. I love it, and I recommend it. Ladies, it's one of those perfect date films...at least in a perfect world, it would be.

Cody's Top 30 Favorite Movies of All-Time: #28 - Masters of the Universe

I'm opening up the oven, taking out the cheesecake of the 1980's, and cutting off the cheesiest piece. We've got Mattel's most expensive toy commercial in history. You even have to look at how awesome the opening is (also see attached video):

At the center of the universe, at the border between the light and the dark stands Castle Grayskull. For countless ages the sorceress of Grayskull has kept this universe in harmony, but the armies of darkness do not rest, and the capture of Grayskull is ever-most on their minds. For to those who possess Grayskull will come...the power. The power to be supreme. The power to be almighty. The power to MASTERS of the UNIVERSE.

Masters of the Universe is one of those movies that you can both hate to love and love to hate, possibly even at the same time. From the minds of cinema's greatest schlock-salesmen, Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, comes a desperate attempt to save their dying film studio. Gary Goddard directed this cheeseball with the likes of then-unknown Dolph Lundgren as He-Man and Frank Langella as Skeletor. Dolph Lundgren couldn't speak very good English at the time without his thick-Swedish accent motorboating his syllables into a realm of ridiculousness, so he chose instead to redub his lines. There's times what he says doesn't even remotely match what he says. His jaw wobbles like it's gonna fall out of his skull.

Sill, Frank Langella as Skeletor is pretty much the best part of the movie. This Skeletor isn't like the over-the-top, high-pitched children's bad-guy character from the TV show of the early 80's. This one dresses menacing, talks menacing, acts menacing and is all around...well, you get it. He's got pretty much all the cool dialogue, in the movie too. I think Frank Langella just wanted it in his contract that he had to be the badass of the film. "Do you hear? The Alpha and the Omega. Death and rebirth, and as you die...so will I be reborn."

He's joined by Meg Foster as Evil-Lyn. No contact lenses there, her eyes are really that powerful. With her, you have that-one-80's-guy-from-that-one-80's-thing who plays Kevin, the human kid with no other characteristics than he's a human kid, and...oh sweet Jesus? Do I detect a hint of F*R*I*E*N*D*S in this movie? It's Courteney Cox as Julie, Kevin's girlfriend and the one who first meets with He-Man. It's a wonder how she settled for Chandler Bing when she could've had fucking He-Man.

I think one of my favorite parts about the movie is just how ridiculous and zany it is. They didn't have enough money to shoot the whole thing in Eternia, so they decided to shoot about 0.025% of the movie in Eternia, 34.975% of the movie in Skeletor's throne room, and 65% of the thing in the suburbs of "Your typical 80's Midwestern Town". So you have crazy characters like He-Man, Man-at-Arms, Beast Man, Blade, and Evil-Lyn wandering around the same 80's town that every John Hughes teen star would.

It's corny. It's cheesy. It's got weird characters. It's got dumb dialogue. It's just one of those generic 80's sci-fi movies that I love for being bizarre. I never once realized just how weird the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe toy-line was until this movie showed me as a little kid. I remember thinking "No way this is a toy line people can get behind, but low-and-behold, the toy-line came first. Then it was that 80's cartoon series that turned into so many memes, then it was this. This overlooked and underappreciated, poorly acted, badly dubbed, silly looking gem. It reeks of the decade it was made in.

Cody's Top 30 Favorite Movies of All-Time: #29 - Adventures in Babysitting

Moving up on my list of favorite movies of all time, we come to the twenty-ninth spot on the list. From 1987 starring Elisabeth Shue, we've got Adventures in Babysitting.

Elisabeth Shue plays Chris Parker, a seventeen-year-old high school student tasked with watching two kids for the night, Brad and Sarah, while their parents go to a banquet in downtown Chicago. When Chris's friend Brenda runs away from home and gets stranded in the city, Chris takes Brad, Sarah and Brad's idiot next-door neighbor and friend Daryl into the city to retrieve her. Their car breaks down on the interstate, forcing them to hitch a ride with an insane tow-truck driver that detours them to his home where he beats up a guy sleeping with his wife. The kids hide in a car to avoid that, but the car they're hiding in gets hijacked. The kids wind up in a auto-parts-ring. Daryl steals a Playboy that has illegal car part orders on it. As they flee from the strip shop, they wind up in jazz club and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON THIS MOVIE?!

No but seriously, one detour to the next, the kids have the worst night of babysitting in the world. This movie made me terrified of big cities. You see all the shitty parts of Chicago, and this is in the 80's. You see slums, you see gangs, you see trashy neighborhoods...everything.

Being an 80's comedy (somewhat), there's also some great scenes. I mentioned that fleeing from the strip-shop bad guys, the kids wind up in a jazz club where they're told by the lead singer of the band (Jazz legend Albert Collins) that "nobody leaves this place without singing the blues." Literally ON THE FLY they come up with a song called "The Babysitting Blues" and sing it to a standing ovation. It's the most ridiculous, 80's thing you'll find and it's my absolute favorite scene from the whole movie.

Speaking of "The Babysitting Blues", this movie also has other great pop and R&B songs that appear on the soundtrack. Edwin Starr's "Twenty Five Miles", Percy Sledge's "Just Can't Stop", and even that one 50's pop hit from the Crystals, "Then He Kissed Me".

There's even a scene where you see Vincent D'Onofrio play a mechanic named Dawson who's supposed to be similar-looking to the Marvel Comic's hero Thor, whom Sarah is obsessed with. It is through him that...

You know what? I don't want to spoil too much more. If you haven't seen it and are looking to kill an hour and forty-five minutes, I'd say give it a go. You may love it, you may hate it. It's cheesy because it's the 80's, but it's also pretty gritty, even for a so-called family movie. I mean, it's a family movie that has car-part-dealing-murderers chasing a group of kids with the intent of kidnapping or even killing them. You be the judge.

Just whatever you do...don't watch the crappy Disney Channel remake. They toned everything down to the point where it's laughably bad. They replaced "The Babysitting Blues" scene with a fucking rap battle. Do I even have to say more?

Cody's Top 30 Favorite Movies of All-Time: #30 - Airheads

One of those bizarre, totally obscure 90's comedies that surprisingly a lot of people haven't seen. At least a lot of people I've met. Three guys who are in a rock band going nowhere, decide to hold up the local radio station so that they can get their demo played on the air. The entire movie plays off like The Chase, in that it takes place in one setting with a ton of twists and turns and bumps along the road, whereas The Chase took place on a highway bound for Mexico, Airheads takes place in the radio station.

The cast is fantastic. The three metalheads in the band are Brendan Fraser (Chazz) , Steve Buscemi (Rex), and Adam Sandler (Pip). The DJ Ian the Shark is played by Joe Montegna, the radio station manager is Michael McKean. Supporting cast includes Ernie Hudson and Chris Farley as cops who come to the scene, David Arquette as a disc jockey, Michael Richards as a corporate drone who has authority over the station. John Hughe alumni Judd Nelson plays the record producer Chazz initially tries to sway to listen to his tape. There's even a cameos by Harold Ramis and Lemmy. Fucking Lemmy.

There's laughs, there's goofy moments, there's even a couple of painful moments, mostly by Chazz's girlfriend Kayla (Amy Locane) as she just complains and complains. Michael Richards spends most of the moving acting like a clumsy fuck (kind of like Kramer, *cough*) before eventually being subdued by Ian the Shark and sprayed with a fire extinguisher by Rex. There's several ploys by Ernie Hudson and Chris Farley to lure the boys out and get them to surrender the hostages. It's a ridiculous movie.

There's a scene where the trio are writing a huge list of demands from the police so that in case things go south, they can cop an insanity plea. Some of the things they request are a football helmet filled with cottage cheese, a giant baby bottle, and naked pictures of Bea Arthur.

The climax involves Judd Nelson getting wind of Chazz holding up the radio station and ventures out to offer the band, ridiculously named "The Lone Rangers", a record contract to get them to end the hold up. The band then moves for a live show on top of the radio station, which the band throws because there's no electricity flowing to their instruments. The movie ends with the band playing a live show in prison and the scrolling text says that "Their album, Live in Prison, went triple platinum."

Airheads, to me, is a classic. It's got some great moments, some dull moments, and some memorable moments. It's got a kick-ass opening anthem sung by Mötörhead featuring Ice Cube, and a custom track by a faux Lone Rangers titled "Degenerated", which you can hear in the movie. It's got an all-star cast even though it's one of those bizarre comedies not a lot of people remember. I recommend it. It's a lot of fun, at the very least.

Cody's Top 30 Favorite Movies of All-Time

One thing I've never done on here is rank my favorite movies of all-time. I often tote that one is, or that one "is in my top five/ten", but I've never ranked them. When I try to rank them, they change. When I try to re-rank them, I discover one that's really good and that I watch over and over again, and I change it again. For film buffs, keeping up with your favorite movies and trying to pick them

Someone once said "Picking your favorite movies is never easy. It's always an incomplete list. It's always changing along with your tastes, interests, feelings and aspirations". So consider this an unfinished list. We'll do...thirty. Seems like a good number. This'll be a list I'll no doubt probably have alterations for sometime down the road, be it tomorrow or ten years from now. Most of the list will remain intact. Obviously, for one reason or another, it's extremely difficult for any movie to break into your top ten, harder than hell to break into your top five...and downright impossible to replace your favorite of all-time. Besides, for those of you know me, you can probably guess a few.

Each post will be clear and concise, so that I won't dread writing them or feel like I have to set aside time. They won't be in-depth reviews, just quick plot summaries, and then why I love them as opposed to why I think they're great. It's the biggest reason why The Nitpick Express gets monotonous to write. which is why it's been almost two months since the last one. I enjoy them, they're funny when they're done, but since I'm such a "big picture" guy, it's difficult for me to devote the time to actually get them there. Plus my attention-span is a bitch.

Anywho, getting side-tracked. I'll go ahead and rank them in the meantime. Expect #20 to kick us off in a few days or so. Until then, enjoy this aardvark while you wait.