A Review of "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes"

"Caesar this is getting out of hand!" "What gave that away?" "Oh I don't know, the fire? The
guns? The batons? The screaming?" "Clearly you've never been to Baltimore, before!"

Happy Friday! Welcome back to another edition of our Ape-thology review series. See? I could've made that the name of these reviews, but I didn't until just now. I thought about it right this second. Should I go back and add that as the series name? TOO LATE!

So far we've seen Planet of the Apes get followed up by a lackluster, bizarre sequel in Beneath the Planet of the Apes and then a dull follow-up to some supporting characters in Cornelius & Zira in Escape from the Planet of the Apes... yet here we are. It's 1972, and even though we've had two sequels that haven't really lived up to the hype and love of the original, they still want to crank out another one and try and press their luck. Serving as a sequel to Escape's storyline about the baby Cornelius and Zira had, this is 1972's Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Boy, these titles are just getting cheesier and cheesier. I love it, but I had to say; sitting down to watch this one I was weary because I had not really cared for any of the sequels up to this point, so the thought of sitting down for another sequel seemed like a waste of time. I knew only had two sequels to go before starting the next series... so I muscled through it. HOLY SCHMOLY, I'm glad I did. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes is easily the best since the original so far. It's so well written, acted, and plays out so grimly it's like this series got its cajones back! I loved Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, so let's figure out why!

"WE. MAKE. HOLES IN YOUR TEETH. WE
MAKE. HOLES IN YOUR TEETH."

Following a North American pandemic from a space-borne disease that wiped out all dogs and cats in 1983, the government has become a series of Schutzstaffel-patterned police states that took apes as pets before establishing a culture based on ape-slave labor. These events were foretold in 1973 during the events of Escape from the Planet of the Apes as testimony by two chimpanzee scientists, Cornelius (Roddy McDowall) and Zira (Kim Hunter), before they were killed. Widely believed to be dead, their baby was secretly raised by the circus owner Armando (Ricardo Montalbán) as a young horseback rider. In 1991, now fully grown and named Caesar (also Roddy McDowall), the ape is brought to one of the cities to distribute flyers for Armando's circus. During their trip, Armando advises Caesar not to speak in public for fear of his life. Question: if Armando needed Caesar to lay low and not draw attention to the fact he's the intelligent child of Cornelius and Zira, why would he bring him to a crowded city which would irk him by watching his fellow apes be tortured and mistreated? Not a great plan, Mr. Armando.

Sure enough, after seeing a gorilla being beaten and drugged, Caesar shouts out "Lousy human bastards!" loud enough for the police-state officers to hear him. Armando diffuses the ensuing commotion by taking responsibility for the exclamation. I love this, because the officers even force Armando to shout it again to see if it sounded the same, which causes tension as Armando has a thick Spanish accent so you know he's going to get caught. Armando plans to turn himself in to the authorities to diminish suspicion and bluff his way out while instructing Caesar to hide among the apes for safety. Caesar obeys and hides in a cage of orangutans, finding himself being trained for slavery through violent conditioning. He is then sold at auction to Governor Breck (Don Murray). Caesar is then put to work by Breck's chief aide MacDonald (Hari Rhodes), whose African American heritage allows him to sympathize with the apes to the disgust of his boss. Oh boy... this movie's going to get woefully uncomfortable isn't it? I was like "This movie's going to get real good" but I was worried that it was becoming too predictable.

"DID YOU DRINK THE LAST BANANA SMOOTHIE?!"
"I would like to plead the fifth."

Meanwhile, Armando is interrogated by Inspector Kolp (Severn Darden), who suspects his "circus ape" is the child of Cornelius and Zira, the one humanity has been searching for. Kolp's assistant puts Armando under a machine that psychologically forces people to be truthful. Realizing he cannot fight the machine, Armando jumps through a window and dies. When Caesar learns of Armando's death, he loses faith in human kindness. In secret, he begins teaching the apes combat and has them gather weapons. Unfortunately, Breck eventually learns that Caesar is the ape the police are hunting. Meanwhile, Caesar realizes MacDonald is an ally to the apes' cause and reveals himself to him. MacDonald understands Caesar's intent to depose Breck, but expresses his doubts about the revolution's effectiveness. Caesar is later captured by Breck's men and, in a gruesome and uncomfortable scene, is electrically tortured into speaking. Hearing him speak, Breck orders Caesar to be killed. With MacDonald's help, the heroes manage to trick Breck into believing Caesar died. Once Breck leaves, Caesar kills his torturer and escapes.

To build his numbers and satisfy his lust for a revolt against his human persecutors, Caesar takes over Ape Management. While setting the city on fire, Caesar and the rest of the apes proceed to the command center, killing most of the riot police that attempt to stop them in the process. After succeeding in this, Caesar has Breck marched out to be executed. In the best scene in the movie, and arguably one of the best scenes in the series, MacDonald pleads with Caesar not to succumb to brutality and be merciful to the former masters. Caesar ignores him, deciding to dedicate his life to man's downfall. The original, unaltered cut of the film first submitted to theaters ends here, with the apes under Caesar's leadership clubbing Breck to death while Caesar looks on in gruesome victory, the last shot is on a zoomed in Caesar before cutting to end credits.

"Caesar, you need a bath. You smell like a 
real ape without your body wash."

... only that ending didn't sit too well with test screeners. They found the film devoid of hope and optimism by the ending and didn't like Caesar basically condoning and adopting mass murder to get his point across. So Roddy McDowall was brought back in, the ending was recut for the theatrical release. In the theatrical cut, as the apes raise their rifles to beat Breck to death, Caesar's girlfriend Lisa voices her objection, shouting "No!", becoming the first ape to speak other than Caesar. Caesar reconsiders and orders the apes to lower their weapons, deciding that, after their recent victory, they can afford to be humane.

The movie was definitely a tonal shift in the Apes series. Up to now they've been about exploring, science, and theology... and while the original Planet of the Apes had some dark elements sprout from its twist ending, to me, it was Conquest that really pulled out all the grimness and showed the dark side of human-ape master-slave servitude. Now, all my hats tip to Roddy McDowall, for his portrayal of the tortured but determined eventual martyr for the human-like apes in Caesar. He was dynamite in this movie, absolutely stellar; his ending speech was incredible, and you could feel his determination in ending human control over apes by any means necessary. In the scene where he's speaking to MacDonald after revealing himself, you can hear his desires in the lines "No I am not a myth, but I will tell you what is, the belief that human beings can be kind. Oh, a handful, perhaps, but not most of them. They will not be kind until we can force them to, and we cannot do that until we are free." Ten out of ten performance for Roddy. Great stuff. It's a very yin-yang performance to McDowall's performance as Cornelius, Caesar's father, in the first and third films. Cornelius was kind, gentile, and noble; Caesar wants to be kind and noble, but allows humanity to push him to the brink of becoming a dictator madman. Roddy McDowall plays both parts superbly.

This movie sends powerful messages that are just as strong now as they were in 1972. While it is a little on the violent side with lots of gunplay, a few explosions, and a gut-wrenching torture scene of Caesar, it is a worthy entry into the franchise, and again, I find it to be the best entry so far since the original movie. The story really makes you sympathize with Caesar and the race of oppressed apes, but by the end you're questioning who your allegiance is too, and again, the ending speech helps symbolize the internalized argument we were all having watching the end of the movie. Is Caesar in the right, or has he gone mad?

"Alright Caesar, prepare for the penetrator of TRUTH!"
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

One last thing of note: wait a minute... I thought at the end of Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Cornelius and Zira named their child "Milo" out of memory of the late doctor ape who died after coming back in time to 1973 with them? However in the start of the film, Armando calls him "Caesar", which contradicts Escape and is therefore probably a mistake. Either Armando changed his name, he is not the same ape, or it's a mistake. It is not so far fetched, however, that Armando changed his name. Let's not forget: since this name was well known to the authorities as that of one of the three chimps that had arrived from space in Escape, this would have been a very wise move. When Breck was having Caesar choose a name for himself, Caesar went through the book of names clumsily, as an illiterate ape would, while quickly scanning for his own given name, making it appear that he chose the name "Caesar" randomly.

I loved Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Unfortunately, it isn't a standalone sequel, otherwise I'd say skip to this movie. You do have to see Beneath and Escape to get some details you would otherwise miss. Having each movie lead into the next is nice for those who like to follow the films episodically, but it's also a hindrance one a couple of those films aren't as good. I recommend this one though; it has action, suspense, horrors, sympathy, and revenge. While it isn't necessarily a "feel good" movie, as some messed up shit does take place, it is Caesar's rise to power that is interesting to watch as it does bring the viewer into a moral quandary by the end of the film. Give this one a go if you ever get the chance!

A Review of "Escape from the Planet of the Apes"

"But your honor! I humbly request a continuance on the fact that my client and I are talking
apes from the future and have no idea how your back-ass justice system works!"

Happy Friday! It's time for part three of our Apes movie franchise anthology series of reviews. I didn't give this series of reviews a dumb, punny name. I thought about "Gone Apey" but that was too lame even for me. "Apeshit" was just too edgy and insinuated every movie we'd talk about would be garbage. "Go Bananas" is just childish. So this one just doesn't have a name? I guess?

"My cage beds are made with rich,
corinthian leather!"

Anywho. We've seen astronauts crash land on an unknown planet only to discover they had time-traveled to a dystopian future in Planet of the Apes. The sequel, Beneath the Planet of the Apes wrapped up the story for certain characters as we saw the planet Earth destroyed by a cataclysmic explosion of a cobalt-cased nuclear bomb. What is next? Well... what if not everyone who was on the planet died? What if... there we some "escapees" shall we say? Now, we follow their journey! This is 1971's Escape from the Planet of the Apes. A movie that teaches us that stories ending doesn't mean shit if we can just take some characters who didn't die on screen and start telling a radically different story, diverting from the previous story's ending and creating a new line of stories altogether! Whew... I just rattled that off of my head; what did you do with your day? So Planet of the Apes is a stellar film, even to this day. Beneath, to be pun-tastic, fell "beneath" my expectations, but ultimately was still enjoyable. Will Escape rebound and start pulling in my interest again? Well... let's find out...

Escaping Earth prior to its destruction at the end of Beneath the Planet of the Apes, the chimpanzees Cornelius (The returning Roddy McDowall), Zira (Kim Hunter), and Dr. Milo (Sal Mineo) salvage and repair Taylor's spaceship from their timeline. The shock wave of Earth's destruction sends the ship through a time warp that brings the apes to 1973 Earth. Most specifically, the Pacific coast of the United States. Kind of weird, this whole temporal spaceflight dilemma these characters seem to be having. It seems that there's only two endpoints in this broken time-flow. It'll dump people from the 1970's into the ape-ridden future of 3970's... or it'll take talking apes who rule our planet and dump them in the 1970's, America's most cocaine-and-sexually-experimental era. Fasten your seatbelts, kids!

"Hey Cornelius, nice monkey suit!"
"... wise ass..."

The apes are transported to the Los Angeles Zoo, under the observation of two friendly scientists, Dr. Stephanie Branton (Natalie Trundy) and Dr. Lewis Dixon (Bradford Dillman). During their stay there, Dr. Milo is killed by a zoo gorilla in a ruckus. A Presidential Commission is formed to investigate the return of Taylor's spaceship and its inhabitants. During their interrogation, Cornelius and Zira deny knowing Taylor (played in the first two films of course by Charlton Heston, though he is absent here). They reveal, however, that they came from the future and escaped Earth when a war broke out. They are welcomed as guests of the government. The apes secretly explain to Stephanie and Lewis how humans are treated in the future, and tell them about Earth's destruction. The scientists are shocked but still sympathetic, and advise the couple to keep this information secret until they can gauge the potential reaction of their hosts. Yeah, you know, don't let two sentient talking apes divulge secrets that would alter the course of time. Why would Cornelius and Zira want to do that? They'd retroactively wipe their future out. But it would save the human race! Conundrums, conundrums.

"Am I hallucinating? Three talking apes?"
"I guess we can call your pharmaceutical study
a colossal failure."

Lavished with gifts and media attention the likes of which even the Kardashians would get sick of, the apes become celebrities. They come to the attention of the President's Science Advisor Dr. Otto Hasslein (Eric Braeden), who discovers Zira is pregnant. Fearing for the future of the human race, Hasslein insists that he simply wants to know how apes became dominant over men. Cornelius reveals that the human race will cause its own downfall and that Earth's destruction is caused by a weapon made by humans. Zira explains that the gorillas started the war, but the chimpanzees had nothing to do with it. Hasslein suspects that the apes are not speaking the whole truth. What he's basing that on, I have no idea. During the original hearing, Zira accidentally reveals that she used to dissect humans. THAT cannot bode well for her or Cornelius. Hasslein orders Lewis to administer a truth serum to her while Cornelius is confined elsewhere. As a result of the serum, Hasslein learns details about Zira's experimentation on humans along with her knowledge of Taylor. Ope, I guess that cat's out of the bag on that one.

Zira joins Cornelius in confinement while Hasslein takes his findings to the President, who reluctantly abides by the council's ruling to have her pregnancy be terminated and that both apes be sterilized. Oh... JOLLY this movie took a turn. In their chambers, Zira and Cornelius fear for their lives. When an orderly arrives to offer the apes food, his jokes about their unborn child make Cornelius lose his temper. He knocks the orderly to the floor, before escaping with Zira. It turns out Cornelius mistakenly forgot the feats of his own strength, as they assume the orderly is merely knocked out, but he is actually dead. Hasslein uses the tragedy in support of his claim that the apes are a threat. He calls for their execution, but is ordered by the President to bring them in alive, unwilling to endorse capital punishment until due process has been served. 

This movie seriously skipped a beat with the
whole "NASA sends monkeys into space" thing.
I mean think of the tagline: NASA once sent chimps
into space, but now SPACE has sent chimps BACK!

Branton and Dixon help the apes escape, taking them to a circus run by Señor Armando (Ricardo Montalban), where an ape named Heloise has just given birth. Zira gives birth to a son and names him Milo, in honor of their deceased friend. Knowing that Zira's labor was imminent, Hasslein orders a search of all circuses and zoos, and Armando insists the apes leave for their safety. Lewis arranges for the apes to hide out the Los Angeles harbor's shipyard for a while. He gives Cornelius a pistol as the couple does not want to be taken alive. Tracking the apes to the shipping yard, in a radically Shakespearean way to close out this opus, Hasslein shoots and mortally wounds Zira and then KILLS THE INFANT she is holding like a true douchebag. Cornelius shoots down Hasslein, and then dies at the hands of a sniper perched over the shipping yard. Zira tosses the dead baby over the side and crawls to die with her husband, witnessed by a grieving Lewis and Stephanie. However, it is later revealed that Zira switched babies with Heloise before leaving the circus... and Armando is aware of this and prepares to leave for Florida. Milo then begins to talk. Roll credits.

What did we learn today? Escape from the Planet of the Apes had a lot going for it, with a brilliant first entry in the series followed by Beneath which took the story in wayward directions. But Beneath ended the story pretty much with the destruction of the whole of Earth. Escape did a tricky-yet-wise thing by re-routing the story now to follow escapees from off-screen of Beneath. Now it's branched out and developed into a story worthy of future sequels! Besides, anything that brings back Roddy McDowall for more performances is something I can get behind. I also liked the inclusion of Ricardo Montalban as Armando, the zookeeper. He's also one of my favorite actors, known for playing Khan originally in the Star Trek franchise. I also loved the story that like talking apes become celebrities but it is also ultimately their downfall, as certain members of society distrust them to the point they hassle and disgrace them into hiding as possible bringers of the collapse of modern society. Cornelius and Zira weren't wanting to take over the Earth, they were only looking to take refuge somewhere away from their dying planet. I like that twist on the story.

Oh God, APE love. *Gag*

The only problem? It's SO goddamn boring! I'm sorry, but Escape from the Planet of the Apes tells a good story in the most boring of manners. There's hardly any action, it's a lot of un-gripping dialogue scenes that unfold slowly over time. It's only a ninety-minute movie but it sure felt like two hours. Probably longer, I only watched it for the first time a week ago. By the time the ending rolled around and the shootout occurs, I was so taken aback 1) for what was happening but 2) that something was actually happening. I zoned out in the second half of the movie because my brain couldn't focus on listening for story details anymore. This movie definitely is missing some action beats. Like a lot of them. Today's youth or moviegoers may have trouble sitting through this one. It also unfortunately as far as I've read ahead marks the final appearance of Kim Hunter and her character Zira, you know, being shot dead and all. I don't think Zira makes appearances in future stories, but she'll be a character sorely missed.

To sum up, Escape from the Planet of the Apes is a noteworthy follow-up to Beneath because of the ideas it has for telling its own story, but its execution is so dull and not very gripping. Roddy McDowall and Kim Hunter of course command the entire screen every time they're on, but everybody else lacks that power and average viewers will tend to zone out. I know I did, here and there. I had to look up some plot details I missed afterwards when the movie's rapid conclusion occurred and I still had questions. Again, I'd say if you truly want to know what happens to Cornelius and Zira since they were hardly in Beneath and died off-screen, supposedly, you can watch Escape. Otherwise I'd say hold off. It's one that, to me, is ultimately "meh".

A Review of "Beneath the Planet of the Apes"

"Uncle Sam wants you for the ape army! Please send us a three-by-five card and photo ID of
your favorite banana tree, as well as most preferred tropical climate to enlist today!"

Happy Friday my fellow ape-planet dwellers. Welcome back! Today we are moving on in our ape movie anthology review. That's right, the Statue of Liberty wasn't the end. Far from it, actually. There is a lot more story to this simple twist than was initially presented.

"You know, you're only a cheap copy of me!"
"That's what you get for your insane salary and
screentime demands!"
"What? Who do I look like? William Shatner?"

So Planet of the Apes ended with Taylor and Nova discovering that Taylor wasn't really on some desolate, distant planet some two thousand and six years in the future. He was instead, on the planet Earth in his own dimension some two thousand and six years into the future, long after humanity had destroyed themselves and the planet along with it, and apes themselves evolved into the dominant species. That's all well and good, with some of the best writing, character and setting development, and make-up effects to tote... but what was happening now? Does Taylor's big "I'm here, now what?" question get answered, or is it ultimately left in the dust in favor of something radically different that only adds more questions. Well, this is the first sequel... and unfortunately it is very much the latter. Produced in 1970, welcome to Beneath the Planet of the Apes, a movie that teaches us that if you thought talking apes were bizarre enough, clearly you've never seen a sequel to a movie about talking apes made during Hollywood's cocaine heyday! Oh boy, what a bizarre yet gripping entry in this franchise this one is. Charlton Heston returns in book-end appearances in the start and finish as Taylor, continuing his story, but in between its an unusual tale of another astronaut sent to find Taylor and finding something radically more weird than talking apes. Let's dive in and see what lies Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

The movie's prologue goes very Rocky II and Superman II before either existed by showing the ending events of Planet of the Apes that saw time-displaced astronaut Taylor (Charlton Heston) and the mute Nova (Linda Harrison) travel through the desert of the Forbidden Zone in search of a new life far away from Ape City. After determining there is no hope for returning home, as he is home, Taylor and Nova continue on past the Statue of Liberty's wreckage. At one point warning, fire shoots up from the ground and deep chasms open. Confused by this, Taylor investigates a cliff wall and disappears through it before Nova's eyes. Unable to reach him, Nova is left alone. Bye bye, Mr. Heston! We'll see you at the climax of the movie! No I'm serious, he's gone for like an hour now. If you thought you'd have a familiar human character to guide you through this ape-led world, you need to seek help for yourself, WEIRDO!

"Woah, what is this place?"
"This Nova is Radio City Music Hall... I guess
disco really did kill rock n' roll."
"I don't know what either of those things are,
Brent."

Just kidding, moving on. Being sent to search for Taylor and his crew, a second spaceship crash-lands on the Forbidden Zone. Brent (James Franciscus), the only survivor, notes he is in the year 3955, but assumes he has travelled to another planet. Oh shit here we go again. After burying his Skipper, he encounters Nova and notices she is wearing Taylor's dog tags. Hoping Taylor is still alive, he rides with her to Ape City and is shocked to discover the simian civilization. Is all this really starting to feel familiar? The gorilla General Ursus (James Gregory) leads a rally for the apes to conquer the Forbidden Zone and use it as a potential food source, against the objections of the orangutan Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans). Brent is wounded by a gorilla soldier and taken by Nova to the home of the chimpanzees Cornelius (David Watson) and Zira (Kim Hunter), who treat his wound and tell him of their time with Taylor. This movie echoes much of what happened to Taylor in the first film, only now it's happening to some guy who's performance isn't as gripping as Heston's, not only because we've seen it already but also who the heck is James Franciscus? It could just be my naivete, for every one thing or actor I know there's still seven I don't know or have never heard of. I found him to just be following Heston's role very closely and not deviating too much.

Attempting to flee the city, Brent and Nova are captured by gorillas. Shit man, Nova just can't catch a break. All these displaced human astronauts are just causing her so much grief. Ursus orders they be used for target practice, but Zira helps them escape. Shit man this is really, really familiar. Didn't Cornelius and Zira get charged for heresy? Whatever happened to that? Anywho, Brent and Nova hide in a cave that turns out to be the ruins of the Queensboro Plaza station of the New York City Subway. Brent realizes he is in Earth's post-apocalyptic future, a realization we were all begging him to reach since you know we reached it two years before he did. After following a humming sound deeper into the tunnels, Brent becomes agitated and erratic and attempts to kill Nova, quickly stopping and backing away to another room. Again, probably just echoing something we were all wanting to do to him for taking forever to realize things. Entering the remains of St. Patrick's Cathedral, he finds a population of telepathic humans who worship an ancient nuclear bomb. Ok... odd, I've heard worse things to worship, but this is... new.

POV: you're begging your unconscious sibling with
a bleeding head wound to wake up before your dad finds out
what happened.

Brent and Nova are captured and interrogated by the telepaths. They turn out to be descendants of the human survivors of a nuclear holocaust. They mutated over generations and claim to be a peaceful society, despite using mind-control and illusion on their enemies. Oh you mean MORLOCKS? From H.G. Well's The Time Machine? The mutants force Brent into revealing the apes' march on the Forbidden Zone. Their attempts to repel the invaders with illusions of fire and other horrors ultimately fail, as Zaius sees through them. With the apes closing in, the telepaths plan to detonate their "Divine Bomb" as a last resort, holding a religious ritual. During the ritual, the telepaths remove their faces to reveal horrible disfigurements of white skin, scarring and vascular varicose disease. That's what this movie has become, less about coming to terms with intelligent apes ruling our planet to intelligent apes warring with scarred, mutant humans that have nuclear power over what's left of our planet.

Brent is separated from Nova and taken to a cell where he finds Taylor. Oh hi Charlton Heston! Welcome back to the movie! I hope you enjoyed your time in the studios' snack bar while we waited for the movie to find you again. One mutant, explaining that they cannot let them leave the city alive, uses his telepathic powers to force Brent and Taylor to fight each other. Ok, so Brent didn't just bananas (pun IN-tended) earlier by attacking Nova, it was the telepaths making them fight for their own amusement. I suppose if you look like microwaved ass and live in caves worshipping a nuclear bomb that somehow still functions after two thousand years... you'd get pretty bored and telepathically make people beat the shit out of each other for your own amusement too. Nova escapes her guard and runs to the cell, screaming her first word: "Taylor!" HOORAY! Nova's first word! This breaks the mutant's concentration, freeing the astronauts from his control long enough for them to kill the mutant. Taylor recognizes the bomb's insigna "AΩ" as a "doomsday bomb", which has a cobalt casing-capable of destroying the entire planet.

♫We are chanting humans... in a movie about talking apes...♫

Ah, the age old "A bomb that can destroy a planet" ploy. Somehow adding cobalt casing to a nuclear bomb makes it planet-destructing. Yes, yes; I will buy talking apes and telepathic mutants but CERTAINLY NOT THIS! Anywho, the apes invade the subterranean city, making their way to the cathedral; many of the mutants are either captured, killed, or die by suicide. After Nova is killed by a gorilla in the midst of the chaos... funny I didn't see that coming, I thought as these movies progressed we'd see Nova become the cohort of many time-displaced astronauts who are showing up... Taylor and Brent reach the cathedral as Mendez (Paul Richards), the telepaths' leader, is shot dead after raising the bomb into activation position. The humans attempt to stop Ursus from accidentally setting off the weapon, but Taylor is shot in the chest as his pleas to Zaius fall on deaf ears. Zaius refuses to listen and decries humanity's violence and the ruination of all things, something the first film already did in a much more powerful and well-written way. When Brent is gunned down after killing Ursus, the mortally wounded Taylor curses Zaius as he collapses and dies bringing his hand down on the bomb's red crystal detonation switch. The bomb goes off destroying the entire planet. The final scene is Taylor's hand on the detonator and as the screen goes while a Narrator says. "In one of the countless billions of galaxies in the universe lies a medium sized star ...and one of its satellites. A green and insignificant planet..is now dead." The credits roll silently.

"Roddy you sound different." "Kim, it's David, remember?
We've been shooting for a week together now!"
"Whatever Roddy, maybe you should see a memory
specialist?"
"Oh for fuck's sake--"

So what did we learn today? I guess it goes to show that the quality of Ape movies really doesn't have to make leaps and bounds improvements over the previous film. Beneath the Planet of the Apes is a strange blend. It starts off like a sequel, progresses into a copycat, then goes totally elsewhere for the remainder of the movie before the last five minutes turn into a sequel again. To be fair, it isn't a bad movie, but it certainly pales in comparison to the first film. Still, it has plenty of action! ...and the story, while bizarre and unexpected, is at least interesting enough to rope your interest for the remainder of the film. The laziness of the telepaths' initial makeup draws some ire from me, but at the very least the apes' makeup remains stellar.

I was sad about the absence of Roddy McDowall as Cornelius, being replaced by David Watson for this sequel. Though McDowall I guess returns for future sequels, his presence here is sorely missed, being one of my favorite classic 60s-80s actors. Still, Kim Hunter delivers a quality performance as Zira during her screentime, same goes for Charlton Heston and Maurice Evans as Taylor and Dr. Zaius, respectively. James Franciscus however in my opinion just copies Charlton Heston's performance from the first film... and the new ape bad guy general or whatever... General Ursus! That was his name... he was pretty stock, a human-hating general. We certainly won't see that again! Hehehehe iykyk.

To sum up, Beneath the Planet of the Apes is a "decent" sequel. It's serviceable, it's interesting, but it has weak links the chain that could ultimately make or break for certain viewers. I'd say give this one a watch, but only if you're really interested in seeing what happens after Planet of the Apes. If not, then this isn't really "required" viewing. You can skip it if that's the case.