DK10: Tenth Anniversary of "The Dark Knight"

I didn't want anything in this post. I just wanted to remind you all of a special holiday for a lot of people, sometimes including me.

On July 18th, 2008, the world changed forever. Comic book movies went up a few clicks and got seriously badass. They were already pretty great, but a bit cartoon-y too. July 18th, 2008 showed us that comic book movies can be as badass as they need to be, want to be, and should be. The Dark Knight changed everything. It changed the superhero movie game, it changed the epic action movie game, it changed the Batman movie game, it changed so many things. Ten years later and a lot of people still claim Heath Ledger is their favorite Joker. More people claim that he's the best Joker. You all know my opinions, and if you don't, I've got posts in the archive that'll tell you all you need to know.

The world was a much different place in 2008: We were five years into War on Terror, well into a housing and lending crisis, the Xbox 360 and PS3 were duking it out in the video game wars while the Nintendo Wii was running donuts in circles about ten miles back, nobody knew who "the mother" was on How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory was still original, Charlie Sheen didn't have his psychotic episodes yet, I just got done being a Freshman in high school (wow, holy shit), Obama and McCain were having at it in the Presidential Election, the Cubs were pretty good but still hadn't gotten that World Series magic they'd see in 2016, Back to the Future wasn't even twenty-five years old yet, the thought of more Star Wars films was a pipedream as the franchise still remained under the ownership of the very-much retired George Lucas, only the second model of iPhone was on its way under the full-steam-ahead leadership of Steve Jobs, it was the first of two times Eli Manning got to embarrass Tom Brady in the Super Bowl, WWE had just switched to PG programming for the first time since '97, Jurassic Park celebrated it's 15th anniversary, the Harry Potter film franchise was shattering box office records every single time a movie was released...let's see, well you get the idea.

So do yourself a favor. Give yourself some time tonight to pop some popcorn, grab a couple cans of pop, dust off your Blu-ray player and your big-screen TV with ultra-premiere sound system and pop in The Dark Knight. Get yourself a little dose of nostalgia as you watch Christian Bale do battle with Heath Ledger, while Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman all mug for the camera and watch the showdown happen before their very eyes. The bank robbery in the beginning, the shootout in the parking garage, Joker's attempted assassination of Mayor Garcia, the semi-truck chase in the sub-level of Gotham City, Joker's challenge to the boats, Joker blows up a hospital and Batman's final confrontation with Two-Face at 250/52 street. The movie is filled twists, turns, tense moments, brutal moments, awe-inspiring moments and wild moments, to boot.

Happy viewing, and happy DK10.

A Review of "The 'Burbs"

You know when I did my Top 30 Favorite Movies of All-Time? Probably for that period I was posing blog post after blog post and you were like "Dear God, just shut up. Nobody cares"? Trust me, I was ready to move on to new discussions, too even though it was just me sharing more about myself. Anywho, the top 30 is incorrect. I know, you're probably pissed off. There's a movie in there that needs get the boot and the movie that's going in the Top 30 is this one. An obscure, yet underrated, hilarious, chilling 80s classic with Tom Hanks and Corey Feldman...The 'Burbs: a movie about small-town neighborhood paranoia and the distrust of your neighbors. It showcases comedy and horror rolled into one and gives you very enjoyable romp. I now present to you my spoiler-ridden review. If you don't want the movie spoiled for you, stop here and go watch it. If you do not give a rat's furry ass, we can continue.

The 'Burbs takes place entirely confined in Mayfield Place, a cul-de-sac in the fictional suburban town of Hinkley Hills. Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) is on vacation from work for a week and is trying to learn more about his mysterious, new next-door neighbors, the Klopeks, after hearing strange noises emanating from their basement late one night. While Ray remains suspicious but passive, his dimwit next-door neighbor Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun) believes the Klopeks are murderers. While snooping around one evening, Ray, Art and military veteran, Lt. Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern) watch Hans Klopek (Courtney Gains), the youthful member of the Klopek clan, drive his car from the garage to the curb, then carry a large garbage bag from the trunk to the garbage can and bang it into the can with a hoe. As rain comes, the three decide not to inspect the trash cans but to wait until first light to do so. During that very same night, Ray watches all three Klopeks digging in their back yard with pick-axes during a rainstorm, apparently trying to bury something. The following morning, Art goes to check the contents of a garbage truck as workers collect the Klopeks' trash can. He is joined by Rumsfield and Ray, but they find no human remains, suspecting that's what the contents of their garbage contained but they ultimately turn up nothing.

Meanwhile, Mark's wife Bonnie Rumsfield (Wendy Schaal) finds a neighborhood dog named Queenie running loose and realizes it belongs to another neighbor of theirs, an elderly man named Walter, and wonders if Walter went away since Walter never, ever lets Queenie run loose without him. Ray, Art, Bonnie, and the absent-minded teenager of the neighborhood Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman), who also believes the Klopeks may be serial killers, go to Walter's house and find his toupee in the kitchen, believing this to be a clue to Walter's sudden disappearance. Ray collects the dog and leaves a note for Walter, explaining the situation. The following night, Ray and Art have a meeting in the Petersons' basement and theorize about Walter's mysterious disappearance, all while Ray tries to ignore Art's reasoning for the Klopeks being satanists. "I Wanna Kill Everyone. Satan is Good, Satain is Our Pal."

Carol (Carrie Fisher), Ray's wife, grows tired of her husband and his buddies snooping around the Klopeks' home like a bunch of juvenile dimwits and she requests that she, Ray, and the Rumsfields pay the Klopeks a visit to formally meet them and introduce themselves like normal people. There they meet Hans, his uncle Reuben (Brother Theodore), and Reuben's brother Werner (Henry Gibson) while Art snoops around in the Klopeks' backyard. Later that evening, Ray reveals to Art and Rumsfield that, he found Walter's toupee in the Klopeks' basement, which he had previously slipped through Walter's mailslot after the group found it inside his house a couple of days earlier. Deducing that the Klopeks must have entered Walter's house in order to retrieve the toupee, Ray and the others are convinced the Klopeks have murdered Walter, and the trio agree to investigate the Klopeks' backyard the next day, knowing the Klopeks would be gone for the day to discuss another possible reassignment and thus, move out of their neighborhood forever.

The next morning, Ray sends Carol and son Dave (Cory Danziger) to go to visit Carol's sister, leaving Ray free to explore the Klopeks' place with Art & Mark. After Art disables the Klopeks' security system after a near-fatal electrocution, he and Ray enter the backyard and begin digging for Walter's remains, all while "commando" Rumsfield stands guard on his roof. After hours of digging and finding nothing incriminating, Ray and Art enter the house, where they discover what they believe to be a crematorium in the Klopeks' basement. Ray then begins to dig into the loose soil that constitutes the basement floor, believing they must have incinerated Walter's body, then buried his bones in the soil. This is where the roots of comedy and horror start to get a little hazy. You don't really know what's funny and what's tragic. That evening, things go awry when the Klopeks come back, only to drive back out when they see lights on in their basement. While all this is going on, Walter returns home with his family, alive and well. Realizing they were wrong, Mark tries to warn Ray and Art out of the basement, but find that the Klopeks return with the police, Art goes into the Klopeks' home to get Ray who, after thinking he had discovered a crypt that contains Walter's remains, hits a gas line in the ground with his pick axe. He yells for Art to flee, right before the Klopeks' house explodes into flames, with Ray still inside. A disheveled and scorched Ray emerges from the flames just as his wife returns.

As the night begins to wind down and the emergency crews tend to Ray and the burning Klopek household, Art speaks to an officer who tells him that Walter had a medical emergency and that his family had taken him to the hospital, thus explaining his mysterious and sudden disappearance. While away, Walter had made arrangements for the Klopeks to pick up his mail for him. When Ray had slipped the toupee through the mail slot, it was picked up, mistakenly, along with the rest of Walter's mail. Ray snaps at Art and declares that they were wrong about the Klopeks, before lunging at Art and then throwing himself into an ambulance on a gurney. Joining Ray in the ambulance surprisingly enough is Werner Klopek. Thinking that Ray must have seen a skull that he kept in the furnace, he confesses that they murdered the previous owners of the house and that the skull belongs to one of them, thus revealing that everyone in the neighborhood had been right about the Klopeks after all. This scene is creepily paced for being a comedy movie. Werner attempts to murder Ray with a lethal injection and collect his skull to replace the one lost in the explosion, as Hans assumes the role of the ambulance driver, but crashes into the Weingartners' house during the struggle. The gurney, with Ray and Werner still struggling on, rolls out of the ambulance and down the street. Ray makes a citizen's arrest on his would-be murderer as Ricky uncovers a large collection of human skeletal remains in the Klopeks' trunk. The Klopeks are arrested and the charges against Ray are dropped. Ray tells Ricky that he and his family are going away for a while and that he needs him to keep an eye on the neighborhood....

The 'Burbs is an absolute classic. It's got comedy, great characters, a fun setting, a more fun story and even a spooky amount of circumstances that result in one wild movie. Tom Hanks, Corey Feldman, Carrie Fisher, Bruce Dern, Henry Gibson, Brother Theodore, Wendy Schaal and others all deliver spectacular, goofy performances. So many quotable lines come from this movie as well, especially with the banter between Ricky and Mark Rumsfield. Bruce Dern took that role and nailed it. The 'Burbs is a lot of fun, even if you just read my review and spoiled it for yourself. Even if it is some spooky kind of fun. I regret not including it in my Top 30, it really should be in there.

Give it a watch, you'll love it.

Ranking the "Star Trek" Movies: #3 - Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

The cast of Fantasy Island's cancelled 8th season

The first really good one. The one that made Ricardo Montalban a superstar again! Wait...no. He was in Fantasy Island during this. Plus he did the Corinthian leather thing for Chrysler in those commercials. Alright scratch that. Well, it certainly is the one that many Trek fans consider the greatest of them all. Me? It's pretty great, I'm not going to lie. It's definitely a compelling adventure, and the original series cast isn't even remotely looking old or decrepit yet. Fun fact, it's the only movie I can think of that's a sequel to a TV series episode. It's a fun movie. Star Trek: The Motion Picture was made for like $45 million and was completely fucking boring. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was made for 1/3 that price and was far more entertaining. Let's dive right into one of the finest, most notable movies in the early 1980s.

"Good thing we don't play these roles enough."

In the year 2285, Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) oversees a simulator session of Captain Spock's (Leonard Nimoy) trainees, as it appears he's been replaced as captain of the Enterprise. I guess captains are retired like car parts. In the simulation, Lieutenant Saavik (Kirstie Alley) commands the starship USS Enterprise on a rescue mission to save the crew of the damaged ship Kobayashi Maru. In Trek lore, the Kobayashi Maru test is a no-win scenario test where prospective Starfleet captains are subjected to a rescue mission and then ambushed by several Klingon cruisers and destroyed. It's designed to test the merit of a Starfleet captain. When the Enterprise enters the Klingon Neutral Zone to reach the ship, it is attacked by Klingon cruisers and critically damaged. The Starfleet officers all submit their acting resumes as the fake bridge explodes and they fake their deaths. Later, Dr. McCoy (DeForest Kelley) joins Kirk on his birthday; seeing Kirk in low spirits, the doctor advises Kirk to get a new command and not grow old behind a desk.

Meanwhile, the USS Reliant is on a mission to search for a lifeless planet for testing of the Genesis Device, a technology designed to reorganize matter to create habitable worlds for colonization. It's basically Jesus in the form of a planetoid torpedo. As McCoy says, "The universe was created in six days. Now watch out, here comes Genesis. We'll do it for you in six minutes!" Anywho, Reliant officers Pavel Chekov (Walter Koenig) and Captain Clark Terrell (Paul Winfield) beam down to the surface of a possible candidate planet, which they believe to be Ceti Alpha VI; once there, they are captured by genetically engineered tyrant Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban). Fifteen years prior, in the episode of the Star Trek original series "Space Seed", the Enterprise discovered Khan's ship adrift in space; Kirk exiled Khan and his fellow supermen to Ceti Alpha V after they attempted to take over the Enterprise by force. I mean, yeah. How else do you try and take over a starship? By saying "please"? After they were marooned, Ceti Alpha VI exploded, shifting the orbit of Ceti Alpha V and destroying its ecosystem. Khan also recognizes Chekov in this scene even though Walter Koenig not only wasn't even in that episode, but wasn't even on the cast of Star Trek by that point. Khan blames Kirk for the death of his wife and plans revenge. Why now? Who knows, I guess the Reliant crew were the only ones dumb enough to come to his planet. He implants Chekov and Terrell with indigenous creatures that enter the ears of their victims and render them susceptible to mind control...a very Star Trek thing to have happen, and uses the officers to capture the Reliant. Learning of Genesis, Khan attacks space station Regula I where the device is being developed by Kirk's former lover, Dr. Carol Marcus, and their son, David. That's got to be an awkward reunion.

"Mom, what do you mean William Shatner's my father?"

The Enterprise embarks on a three-week training voyage. You know what that means! Plenty of expendable crew members to have die horrifically for no reason! Kirk assumes command after the ship receives a distress call from Regula I. Dang, furst usurping Willard Decker of command and now even his best pal Spock. Kirk'll do anything to fuck somebody over for a command. En route, the Enterprise is ambushed and crippled by the Reliant in a very classic and well-paced action sequence, leading to the deaths and injuries of many trainees. Khan hails the Enterprise and offers to spare Kirk's crew if they relinquish all material related to Genesis in, again, another badass and tense sequence with lots of quotable dialogue. Kirk stalls for time and uses the Reliant's prefix code to remotely lower its shields, allowing the Enterprise to counter-attack. Khan is forced to retreat and effect repairs, while the Enterprise limps to Regula I. This entire first encounter between Enterprise and Reliant is so memorable and so badass, it almost makes the whole movie. The other part that makes the movie is coming up! Kirk, McCoy, and Saavik beam to the station and find Terrell and Chekov alive, along with slaughtered members of Marcus's team in probably the darkest part of this whole movie as Terrell describes what Khan did to Marcus's team. They soon find Carol and David hiding deep inside the planetoid of Regula. Khan, having used Terrell and Chekov as spies, orders them to kill Kirk; Terrell resists the eel's influence and kills himself while Chekov collapses as the eel leaves his body. FUN FACT: A larger-than-lifesize scale model of Walter Koenig's ear was built for this scene. Hilarious to walk around a movie set and see a giant Walter Koenig ear just hanging on a wall or something. Khan then transports Genesis aboard the Reliant. Though Khan believes his foe stranded on Regula I, Kirk and Spock use a coded message to arrange a rendezvous. Kirk directs the Enterprise into the nearby Mutara Nebula; static discharges inside the nebula render shields useless and compromise targeting systems, making the Enterprise and the Reliant evenly matched. In easily the best scene of the whole movie, with tense moments and suspense, the Enterprise and Reliant hunt for each other blindly in a dust cloud. Spock notes however that Khan's tactics are two-dimensional, indicating inexperience in space combat, which Kirk then exploits to critically disable the Reliant. Crazy cool scene here, plus a sick reference to three-dimensional chess.

Mortally wounded, Khan activates Genesis like a complete bitch, which will reorganize all matter in the nebula, including the Enterprise, basically eradicating everything remotely close to the scene. Though Kirk's crew detects the activation of Genesis and attempts to move out of range, they will not be able to escape the nebula in time due to the ship's damaged warp drive. Spock goes to the engine room to restore the warp drive. When McCoy tries to prevent Spock's entry, as exposure to the high levels of radiation would be fatal, Spock incapacitates the doctor with a Vulcan nerve pinch and performs a mind meld, telling him to "remember". We would later find out Spock basically backed himself up like a hard drive into McCoy's brain, or I'm sorry, "gave McCoy his ka tra". Spock successfully restores power to the warp drive and the Enterprise escapes the explosion, though at the cost of Spock's life. Somehow, he just reaches into the warp core, then it's fixed. It isn't really shown how he fixed it, but...he did. So there. The explosion of Genesis causes the gas in the nebula to reform into a new planet, capable of sustaining life.

"Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann!!!!!!!!!!"

After being alerted by McCoy following Khan's annihilation, Kirk arrives in the engine room and discovers Spock dying of radiation poisoning. The scene's a little twisted. I mean Spock even bumps into the wall, revealing that he's blind. It's a little messed up. In probably one of the most famous Star Trek scenes in history, the two share a meaningful exchange in which Spock urges Kirk not to grieve, as his decision to sacrifice his own life to save those of the ship's crew is a logical one, before succumbing to his injuries. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one." A space burial is held in the Enterprise's torpedo room and then, like tossing out the garbage, they fire Spock's coffin into orbit around the new planet. The crew leaves to pick up the Reliant's marooned crew from Ceti Alpha V as Spock's coffin, having soft-landed, rests on the Genesis planet's surface...hinting that the pointy-eared Messiah may rise three days later...Happy Easter everyone!

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is a fantastic Trek movie. It's got plenty of action, compelling dialogue, tense suspense scenes and moving moments. It's so much better than The Motion Picture that when you watch this one after that one you'll wonder what the hell the team on The Motion Picture was even doing. Star Trek II is easily considered by many Trekkies to be the best of them all. I consider it great, but there's two more Star Trek movies that I love even more. No offense to Star Trek II, but with my list, the best is yet to come. If you've got time and you want to get into the original ten Star Trek movies, you can start with this one. It's basically the first entry in the aforementioned "Genesis trilogy", so you can totally ignore the events of The Motion Picture. It's events aren't mentioned ever again anyway. So, give this one a watch. We've only got two more to go!